Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
With the advancement of
technology
, nowadays, the form of interact
between Replace the word
interaction
people
has changed significantly. This
phenomenon has an advantage and disadvantage
side that affect the type of Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
humans relationship
.
The advantages that come with the existence of Fix the agreement mistake
human relationships
technology
is it can simplify the effort to interact with other people
. It can be seen that there are a
numerous new social media and messaging Correct article usage
apply
application
that Fix the agreement mistake
applications
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
people
to connect with others without having to do a face-to-face meetings
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a face-to-face meeting
face-to-face meetings
Furthermore
, the existance
of Correct your spelling
existence
technology
as a platform for people
also
make
a significant impact Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
in
work Change preposition
on
relationship
. It enables Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
the
society to work remotely without having to interact personally. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, it also
helps the people
who live far from their families to strengthening
bonds and make a meaningful conversation.
Change the form of the verb
strengthen
However
, this
phenomenon also
lead
to a negative side Change the verb form
leads
for
the social skills Change preposition
on
for
the Change preposition
of
people
. With the pressence
of easy access to Correct your spelling
presence
communication
in online platforms, the skill to socialise and communicate with others in real life can be affected negatively. For instance
, note a few person
who drown Change to a plural noun
people
by
Change preposition
on
the
online Correct article usage
apply
platform
tend to find difficulty Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
to interact
with other Change the verb form
interacting
people
in real life. They shows
a decline in Change the verb form
show
communication
skills that can lead them to having a hard time in real life.
In conclusion, although
the existance
of Correct your spelling
existence
technology
can be helpful to facilitate
Change preposition
in facilitating
the
Correct article usage
apply
communication
platforms for people
, but
I believe it is still important to Remove the conjunction
apply
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
the
interaction and Correct article usage
apply
communication
face-to-face to enhanced
Change the form of the verb
enhance
the
social skill to Correct article usage
apply
survived
in the real world.Wrong verb form
survive
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. While the introduction and conclusion are present, the main body paragraphs can be more distinctly separated and developed further.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear, especially those involving more complex ideas. Consider rephrasing for clarity and ensuring each sentence contributes directly to your point.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of technology's impact on relationships, providing a balanced view which effectively answers the task.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion clearly summarizes your perspective, reinforcing the main argument about the importance of face-to-face interaction.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example