In many countries, the amount of crme is increasing. what do you think are the main causes of the crime? how do we deal with those causes?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the globe, the extent of
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
is rising . In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
majority reasons of
felony
Change preposition
for felony
show examples
are the negligence of parents.They do not care for and spare special time for their kids even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
do not know the positions of their children in extra courses about their studies.The negative pressure of their partial peers at schools in society.Friends sense and comment from their
offender
Change noun form
offender's
show examples
best friends. By the instructions of their peer most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
minors
are striving
Wrong verb form
strive
show examples
to earn more and more money without any difficulties in their personal lives
as a result
Linking Words
, they
have wishes
Wrong verb form
wish
show examples
to be the richest man
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world. First of all, the government should pay attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
generations'
Change noun form
generation's
show examples
education for free at school
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
every
parts
Change to a singular noun
part
show examples
of the globe. The
school
Change noun form
school's
show examples
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
show examples
shoulde
Correct your spelling
should
be taught by
professional
Add an article
the professional
a professional
show examples
teacher which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Change the article
the
show examples
willingness
Replace the word
willing
show examples
to instruct their students . Every experienced
teachers
Change to a singular noun
teacher
show examples
should learn how to involve pupils with funny academic methods.
tmThere
Correct your spelling
There
should be marathons for
such
Linking Words
unpolite students to do legal projects and contribute to the development of their country. Instructors and psychologists preach ,
read
Correct word choice
and read
show examples
lectures .
For example
Linking Words
, THE UZBEK TIMES NEWSPAPER announced that the extent of open marathons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
being organized is growing rapidly by 80%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the right atmosphere in every family should be instructed by grandparents and households. Children should share their breakthroughs which they achieved at school and in the field of academics.The difficulties should be adopted by students with the help of house members. The causes for
indifference
Add an article
the indifference
show examples
of folks are the wide
ranges
Fix the agreement mistake
range
show examples
of technology and mobile phones. People's lives are related to the
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the researchers announced that the amount of
producing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gadgets
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
rising by 95%. By way of conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal habits are produced by youngsters. The government can not prevent them from
such
Linking Words
kinds of ways.Every relatives and teachers try to help and deter them from
this
Linking Words
way.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next through the use of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as data or reports from recognized sources.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them into well-defined paragraphs, each focusing on a single point.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt with specific causes of crime and suggests potential solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
language use
The essay uses some varied vocabulary and sentence structures, which demonstrates a good command of English.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: