IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is believed that choosing what you want to do early in
life
Use synonyms
 and sticking to it is one of the
key
Change to a plural noun
keys
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 success, and a satisfying career, compared to those who change their field frequently.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
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 statement because it allows people to focus on their goals and
also
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helped
Wrong verb form
helps
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 them in achieving their goals early.
To begin
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, when someone
chooses
Correct subject-verb agreement
choose
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 what he or she
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to become when
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are young, it allows them enough time to build their portfolio in their desired careers.
This
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 results in, these young individuals being way ahead of their fellow colleagues, and
as a result
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, their chances of getting a better job
also
Linking Words
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
.
For instance
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, a recent survey conducted by MBA students in an American university found that nowadays every company wants to higher only those candidates who have some sort of past work experience.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when people stick to their fields,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 chances of promotion
also
Linking Words
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
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 greater.
That is
Linking Words
 because working in the same job or in the same field at different places helps them to become better in their area,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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thus
Linking Words
 multiplying their chances of achieving their
life
Use synonyms
 goals.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 be proved by the fact that all the
top level
Add a hyphen
top-level
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 positions in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of the big companies are occupied by those who are more experienced. In conclusion, choosing a career early in
life
Use synonyms
 and sticking to it, allows a person to have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 satisfying work
life
Use synonyms
, because it provides them more time to gain valuable experience and that they can reach the top positions early.

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language
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. Ensure sentences are correctly structured to enhance clarity and readability.
language
Provide more diverse vocabulary to make your argument more persuasive and engaging.
content
Include counterarguments or consider other perspectives to strengthen your essay's analysis. This can demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
content
Your essay has a clear and focused introduction that directly addresses the prompt and expresses a clear position.
content
You have effectively used examples to support your points, such as the survey conducted by MBA students.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and draws on the points discussed earlier, reinforcing the essay’s main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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