It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Punishing
Use synonyms
parent
for what Fix the agreement mistake
parents
are they
Verb problem
their
kids
doing Use synonyms
for
some Change preposition
in
case
, Fix the agreement mistake
cases
i
will agree withChange the capitalization
I
that
.
I personally believe that, how Correct pronoun usage
apply
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
characristic
and Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
is shown
who their Wrong verb form
show
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
is
, we all know that Correct subject-verb agreement
are
kids
Use synonyms
just
Add a missing verb
are just
a
Correct article usage
apply
kid
until they get any input from the environment around them, either positive or negative. The main factor is family, which is it Fix the agreement mistake
kids
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
their
Change preposition
of their
parent
, sibling, or maybe grandparent.
People nowadays Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
Replace the word
concerned
for
how to Change preposition
about
rising
their Verb problem
raise
kids
carefully. Use synonyms
For instance
, they even spend Linking Words
much
money to get parenting Correct quantifier usage
apply
class
with professional psychology, attend Fix the agreement mistake
classes
any
parenting Correct quantifier usage
apply
seminar
and scrolling parenting content on social media. Solely Fix the agreement mistake
seminars
for
make sure their Change preposition
to
kids
Use synonyms
growing
well and Wrong verb form
grow
healtier
.
Unfortunately, Correct your spelling
healthier
olny
people who Correct your spelling
only
many
ready
to be Add a missing verb
are ready
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
that
want to Correct pronoun usage
apply
doing
all of those things, Change the verb
do
some
people just Correct word choice
but some
growing
their Verb problem
raise
kids
with bad treatment that Use synonyms
give
Verb problem
apply
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
to
their Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
kids
mentality. Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
For example
, they just Linking Words
letting
their Change the form of the verb
let
kids
Use synonyms
to
do anything that they want, Change the verb form
apply
feeding
their Wrong verb form
feed
kids
without Use synonyms
learn
Change the verb form
learning
the
nutrition, and Correct article usage
apply
doing
Wrong verb form
do
harrasment
to their Correct your spelling
harassment
kids
. Use synonyms
However
, it is common Linking Words
our
society problem in Change preposition
in our
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
family
.
Fix the agreement mistake
families
To conclude
, Linking Words
i
agree to give Change the capitalization
I
punishing
to their Replace the word
punishment
parent
if Use synonyms
their
do not Correct pronoun usage
they
raising
their Change the verb form
raise
kids
well, but if they already doing everything for their Use synonyms
kids
we cant give them Use synonyms
punishing
because maybe there is Replace the word
punishment
any
external factor Correct determiner usage
an
the
cause it.Correct determiner usage
that
Submitted by raudahalimah on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically. The essay lacks a clear structure in some places, which makes it slightly difficult to follow. Consider using paragraphs to separate your main points clearly.
task achievement
While you express some interesting ideas, try providing more relevant examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance your task response score by making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be clearer. Aim to succinctly summarize your position in both sections to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You express a thoughtful opinion on the issue, acknowledging the role of parents while also considering external factors, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear sense of your stance. This clarity is helpful for readers to understand your argument from the beginning.
task achievement
You touch on contemporary issues like parenting classes and societal influence, which makes the essay feel relevant and engaging.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.