IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries around the world, it is common for families to run their own business. Some people think that keeping the business within the family is the best approach while other believe this could lead to problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that most individuals prefer to work for their family businesses to expand them, and some
people
Use synonyms
 advise keeping family businesses within families,
whereas
Linking Words
 some believe that
this
Linking Words
 approach can bring some significant consequences. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will aim to explore both ideas and give my opinion. On the one hand, a considerable number of
people
Use synonyms
 advocate the inheritance of family businesses as a beneficial concept.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it not only helps to make a reputation but
also
Linking Words
 positively affects the well-being of the family in society.
For example
Linking Words
, an Indian businessman, Mukesh Ambani, got his
business
Use synonyms
 inheritance, which made his family one of the most famous in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a family
business
Use synonyms
 can increase the richness and wealth of a particular family if they are running it themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an equal number of
people
Use synonyms
 think that it can lead to some difficulties. It can break relationships and cause disputes among members.
People
Use synonyms
 start comparing themselves to others in their relationships.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey by the Times of India shows that, in Asia, mostly large families broke their relations with each other because of their misunderstandings in
business
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, keeping the
business
Use synonyms
 within one household can ruin the
business
Use synonyms
 too because it is not always sure that the next generation who is going to handle the
business
Use synonyms
 is capable enough to do so.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both aspects have their own merits and demerits, which cannot be ignored. I believe that passing on the family
business
Use synonyms
 should depend on the abilities of the person rather than their relationships because it is not only helpful for the
business
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 for others to invest in it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve a more comprehensive task response, ensure that your opinion is interwoven throughout the essay, not just reserved for the conclusion. Expanding on why someone might disagree or alternative perspectives could strengthen argumentation.
task achievement
While your points are well-supported, further developing counterarguments could improve balance and depth. Consider addressing and rebutting common opposing arguments to enhance persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence through the use of transition signals, aiding the reader to follow the progression of ideas between paragraphs naturally. This could further smooth the logical progression.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear and focused direction for the discussion, guiding the reader into the main themes of the essay.
task achievement
Strong examples, like Mukesh Ambani's case, effectively illustrate points and ground arguments in reality, highlighting concrete understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear structure throughout, with a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to another, culminating in a balanced and meaningful conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: