Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Certain individuals claim
history
is the most vital school subject. Others assert that other fields, like
science
and
technology
, are more vital than
history
in the present. The following essay explains why I think
history
is one of the most important
subjects
in school.
Firstly
, one of the most important
subjects
in schools is
history
, which teaches us the necessary points in our lives. It is obvious that nations learn from their
history
. It is widely known that when a territory has not learned its negative memory, it must face it again and again until it clearly learns its lessons. Simply put, nations grow up by their
history
.
For instance
, a country
such
as Iran must learn that other territories create problems for it, and it must be careful.
However
, Iranians have not learned their lesson and have repeatedly encountered these issues.
Secondly
, some
people
assert that
science
and
technology
subjects
are more important. They hold the belief that these
subjects
aid students in securing more lucrative careers.
Moreover
, they claim that these fields help our territory grow.
Additionally
,
subjects
like
science
and tech assist children in enhancing their cognitive performance.
For instance
, there is a common belief that children who study more math in school will earn more in the future. For another example,
people
with
history
degrees earn less than others with
science
and
technology
degrees. In conclusion, some
people
assert that
history
is the most important subject in schools; others argue that nowadays other
subjects
,
such
as
science
and
technology
, are more important than
history
.  I totally agree with
people
who claim
history
is more important.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score, aim to expand on the introduction by clearly outlining both viewpoints and stating your thesis more explicitly. This will help set a clear direction for the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence by using more varied linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and sentences. This will improve the flow of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Try to balance your discussion by providing equal depth to both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the subject.
Task Achievement
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main arguments effectively, providing a complete response to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are logically structured with main ideas supported by relevant examples, making the arguments easy to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay uses relevant examples, such as the case study of Iran, which demonstrates a good understanding of the importance of context in historical studies.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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