IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.

The bar chart below shows the number of boys and girls playing different types of sports in a city in England called Canterbury in 2012.
#bar #boys #girls #sports #city #england #canterbury
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The
give
Change the verb form
given
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 graph compares the percentages of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 playing various kinds of sports in Canterbury in 2012. A cursory glance at the graph is enough to make
it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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clear that more
boyes
Correct your spelling
boys
 prefer football and tennis than girls.
while
 many
women
 like swimming and badminton. Hockey had the lowest figure among other
categorise
Correct your spelling
categories
show examples
.
To begin
 with, There were around half
boys
Change preposition
of boys
show examples
played
Correct pronoun usage
who played
show examples
 tennis in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canterbury
while
 less than 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
girls
Correct article usage
the girls
show examples
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 tennis.There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase in the figure of
women
 who like playing badminton to 40%.
Whereas
,Only exactly 30% of men like
this
 sport. Cycling
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 were common among
boys
.There were more than 30% of
boys
 practice it and just 20 per cent of
women
 like cycling. The number of
women
 who like swimming grew sharply to reach 50% and 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
boys
 played swimming.
Moreover
, the percentage of
boys
 who played football in 2010 reached a peak
60
Change preposition
of 60
show examples
%.
While
 there were 20% of girls played football in that city.On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand.There were less than 20% of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who played hockey.
Submitted by mrym05411 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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