More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think that the government should increase the price of fattening foods to address this issue. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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NowdaysCorrect the word
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,
have no control over their weight . some
believe that
,Remove the comma
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the government
make
about unhealthy
as
,Remove the comma
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fast
and junk
to solve
problem.
Body · 1
in my
, I strongly agree with
statement for
reasons.
Body · 2
sometimeReplace the word
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poor
chooseAdd the particle
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eat fast
because the prices
isChange the verb form
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cheaper compared
byChange preposition
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healthy
, and
will naturally lead to weight
and health problems. and
Correct article usage
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should take
aboutChange preposition
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prices for
, there are a lot of supermarkets
haveCorrect pronoun usage
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expensive healthy
so
turn to cheap low-quality
. and
toChange preposition
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more issues
as morbid obesity,
hartCorrect your spelling
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disease and
.
Conclusion
,
should encourage
to
healthyAdd an article
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lifestyleFix the agreement mistake
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by advertising campaigns that raise awareness of the dangers of obesity.
,
clubs
centerChange the spelling
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with reasonable prices
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Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion in the essay. The current essay lacks a strong concluding paragraph summarizing your stance and main points.
Enhance the connections between sentences and paragraphs for better flow. Using cohesive devices can improve the essay’s readability and coherence.
Address counterarguments in your essay to present a well-rounded perspective and strengthen your position.
The essay introduces a clear stance on the issue early on, with the statement 'I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons.'
The writer identifies economic factors influencing food choice, such as the affordability of fast food for poorer communities.
The essay suggests promoting a healthier lifestyle through advertising campaigns, showing an understanding of broader solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.