IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#internet #matter #hand #people #socialise
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The Internet might be
considering
Change the form of the verb
considered
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 as the way that gives us a lot of opportunities to constantly remain
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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connected with one another. We are able to exchange different entertainment content,
messages
,
calls
Correct word choice
and calls
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, across social networks, apps, and specialized websites. Via
them
Add a comma
them,
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people
 arrange meetings, which allow us to not be alone.
Firstly
, internet communications are miscellaneous, which makes it not easy to perceive properly, and
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant number of
people
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 isolated in their homes, by providing themselves
enough
Add the preposition
with enough
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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chats.
Additionally
, we can create groups to communicate with large numbers of
people
 who share the same interests and goals, despite being from different countries and cultures. And, now communication become faster
instead
 of the old method, like paper letters, which would take days and months to be received by the person. And the situation evolved into multi-media
messages
.
such
 as recording
messages
, Videos and images. Which makes
messages
 clearer and smoother.
For instance
, the teacher explains lessons via Zoom using a video slideshow to illustrate points to students. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I see that the internet and social networking with various applications have made it easier for
people
 to communicate with each other.
Submitted by fruitextract on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Add topic sentences and linking words to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide clear, separate ideas for each paragraph to enhance clarity and comprehension.
Coherence & Cohesion
Avoid grammatical and syntax errors to ensure your writing is easier to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the internet quite well, discussing connectivity and isolation.
Relevance of Examples
The essay uses some examples, such as the teacher using Zoom, to help illustrate key ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • vast distances
  • maintaining relationships
  • professional connections
  • face-to-face meetings
  • in-person communication skills
  • local friendships
  • social isolation
  • community events
  • niche interests
  • like-minded people
  • virtual relationships
  • emotional connection
  • feelings of loneliness
  • superficial friendships
  • overly reliant
  • real-world relationships
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