IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below illustrate UK participation in selected sports by gender between 2005/06 and 2008/09

the table below illustrate UK participation in selected sports by gender between 2005/06 and 2008/09
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The table illustrates the percentages of boys and
girls
Use synonyms
 who
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 the United Kingdom in sports competitions between June 2005 and September 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, when I saw the graph, I noticed that male
candidates
Use synonyms
 were more than female in most of the sports. Commencing with boys' groups, soccer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 showed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
candidates
Use synonyms
, it was approximately 25%, and participants in other games
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 18%. Regarding swimming, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of swimmers was about 13%,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 cricket
players
Use synonyms
 was 11%, and martial arts was 10%. Basketball and tennis demonstrated near values, they were 6%, and 7%, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 netball represented the least
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
candidates
Use synonyms
, it was near 1%,
Correct word choice
and on
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 athletics games about 4%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
girls
Use synonyms
 was variable. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of netball
players
Use synonyms
 hit the peak and it was the highest value among boys and
girls
Use synonyms
candidates
Use synonyms
, it has been about 25%, following it, swimmers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 about 22%. Other sports
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 10%, tennis
players
Use synonyms
about
Add a missing verb
were about
show examples
 7%, and basketball
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 6%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
girls
Use synonyms
 who joined soccer and athletics,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 5%, and 4%, respectively. Artists who
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 martial arts exhibited about 3%,
whereas
Linking Words
 cricket
players
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the least
percentage
Use synonyms
 among competitors, they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 about 2%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words girls, candidates, percentage, players with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 10 times.
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