Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that the monetary help given by the developed nations does not resolve the issues, and they should provide aid in other ways rather than giving
money
to the
underdeveloped Correct article usage
apply
countries
. This
essay totally agrees with that statement because of the level of corruption in third world countries
and this
also
increased the national debt.
First of all, these countries
are poorer not because of their lack of resources
, on the contrary
, majority
of these Correct article usage
the majority
countries
actually have abundant resources
. For instance
, Africa has plenty of natural resources
including oil and minerals, but still more than half of the people their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
lives
below the poverty line, because these Correct subject-verb agreement
live
countries
are ruled by either dictators that
do not care about their public, or by corrupt politicians. Correct pronoun usage
who
As a result
, whenever these countries
get financial aid, it fills the pockets of politicians, rather than solving public issues.
Another reason why money
should not be given as aid because
almost all the time Add a missing verb
is because
these aids
Fix the agreement mistake
this aid
are
in the form of some sort of loans, and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
instead
of solving issues it increases the total debt of the country, which causes more burden on taxpayers. For example
, in Pakistan tax rate at this
moment is the highest among all the Asian countries
and majority
of the tax collected is not used for Add an article
the majority
a majority
the
development or Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
for
public
, but to pay the interest on the Correct article usage
the public
money
burrowed
from other states.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
borrowed
instead
of giving money
to the poor nations, developed countries
should help in other ways because of the mismanagement of resources
and higher tax burden on poor
public in those Correct article usage
the poor
countries
.Submitted by saadanwer89 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use varied linking words and phrases to clearly mark the progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should link back to the thesis statement more clearly.
task achievement
In task response, ensure you consider both sides of the argument to present a balanced view, which can add depth to your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position in response to the prompt, stating agreement and giving well-articulated reasons for this view.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the situation in Africa and Pakistan, which adds credibility to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is mostly clear, which helps in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly presents the topic and the essay’s stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.