Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that the monetary help given by the developed nations does not resolve the issues, and they should provide aid in other ways rather than giving
money
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underdeveloped
countries
.
This
essay totally agrees with that statement because of the level of corruption in third world
countries
and
this
also
increased the national debt. First of all, these
countries
are poorer not because of their lack of
resources
,
on the contrary
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of these
countries
actually have abundant
resources
.
For instance
, Africa has plenty of natural
resources
including oil and minerals, but still more than half of the people
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
below the poverty line, because these
countries
are ruled by either dictators
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do not care about their public, or by corrupt politicians.
As a result
, whenever these
countries
get financial aid, it fills the pockets of politicians, rather than solving public issues. Another reason why
money
should not be given as aid
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
almost all the time
these aids
Fix the agreement mistake
this aid
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
in the form of some sort of loans, and
instead
of solving issues it increases the total debt of the country, which causes more burden on taxpayers.
For example
, in Pakistan tax rate at
this
moment is the highest among all the Asian
countries
and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of the tax collected is not used for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development or
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, but to pay the interest on the
money
burrowed
Correct your spelling
borrowed
show examples
from other states. In conclusion,
instead
of giving
money
to the poor nations, developed
countries
should help in other ways because of the mismanagement of
resources
and higher tax burden on
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
public in those
countries
.
Submitted by saadanwer89 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use varied linking words and phrases to clearly mark the progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should link back to the thesis statement more clearly.
task achievement
In task response, ensure you consider both sides of the argument to present a balanced view, which can add depth to your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position in response to the prompt, stating agreement and giving well-articulated reasons for this view.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples to support the main points, such as the situation in Africa and Pakistan, which adds credibility to the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is mostly clear, which helps in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly presents the topic and the essay’s stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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