Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it positive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

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Today, many

children

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spend a significant amount of time playing

computer

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games

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instead

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of engaging in sports.

Although

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this

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trend offers some benefits, I reckon that it has more

bad

Correct word choice

negative

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implications for

children

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health

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and social

life

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lives

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Initially

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computer

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games

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can help

children

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develop certain

skills

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For instance

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games

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often require players to solve complex problems or make quick decisions, which can enhance critical thinking and problem-solving abilities.

Additionally

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children

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may learn basic technical

skills

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, ranging from keyboard navigation to networking, which are essential in today's digital world. So

such

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games

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encourage creativity and even broaden

children

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's perspectives by exposing them to new ideas or virtual

environment

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environments

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. Having said that, regardless of

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

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this

Linking Words

phenomenon, I am still convinced that spending

excessively

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excessive

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time

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apply

show examples

playing

computer

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games

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is more concerning.

Firstly

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, prolonged gaming can severely harm

children

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's physical

health

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. Sitting for extended periods in front of a screen often leads to bad posture, eye strain and a lack of physical activity which increases the risk of obesity and related issues.

Secondly

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addicting

Replace the word

addiction

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such

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games

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can impact negatively

children

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's social

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

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That many

Correct word choice

Many

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young people become so engrossed in

games

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sparks

Correct pronoun usage

that sparks

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feelings of isolation, depression and even social anxiety since they neglect family interactions, friendships and outdoor activities.

Thus

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does

Verb problem

apply

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it not only

effect

Verb problem

affects

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their mental

health

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and social

skills

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but

also

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causes some threats

for

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show examples

their future. In conclusion, despite some positive points of playing

computer

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games

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such

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as improving cognitive and technical

skills

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, I strongly believe that

it's

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its

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negative impact on

children

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health

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, social connections and

overall

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development makes it a harmful trend. Inspiring youth to balance gaming with sports and outdoor activities is important for their well-being and future success.

Submitted by Writing9 on Wed Dec 04 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples, such as studies or real-life instances, to reinforce your points and make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Work on seamless paragraph transitions for an even smoother flow between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and a strong conclusion that summarises your stance effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are well-organized and logically structured, making the essay easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay thoroughly addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of children spending time playing computer games.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of people rely on restaurants and convenience food (frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.