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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think radical knowledge is the most important skills. The nurses should have others. There are more important qualities discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Some believe medical
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
,
such
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 as
nurses
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 should require exponential medical
knowledge
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 and expertise to provide healthcare for the patients.
While
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 some recon
nurses
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 should possess qualities like empathy and passion to be successful in
this
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 field,
although
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 being a caring and good human being is a surplus in
this
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 profession, I believe
in
Change preposition
apply
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that the
knowledge
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 of human health should be the priority
while
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 training
nurses
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. Looking towards the perspective of an ideal
nurse
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, empathy and kindness
please
Correct your spelling
play
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 a major role. Taking
care
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 of
patience
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
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 is a serious job and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of passion can
be deteriorating
Wrong verb form
deteriorate
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for
Change preposition
apply
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their
overall
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 recovery and nice
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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job
Add an article
a job
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 just as a source of income won't be able to fully understand the responsibilities of a caregiver
that is
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 to say, judge mental
nurse
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 can make a
patient
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 under his
his
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
care
Use synonyms
, uncomfortable, and
Use synonyms
patient
Add an article
the patient
a patient
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 may feel depressed and agony towards her for not taking
care
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 of them properly.
For example
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, many patients develop resistance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
nurses
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 who lack empathy and treat patients as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
, but not as human beings. With regards to proper medical
knowledge
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a very crucial aspect of training. New
nurses
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 should be provided with an in-depth
knowledge
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 of handling a
patient
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 before they are actually assigned as registered
nurses
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. Working on the floor,
taking
Correct word choice
and taking
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care
Use synonyms
 of human lives is not something that can be done by an immature trainee
nurse
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. A small mistake and a miscalculated assumption can cause a person
it's
Verb problem
to
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life
Correct your spelling
die
show examples
.
For instance
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, in the Indian Times, a penned article depicting the loss of license of a health
care
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 worker
due to
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 his misinterpretation of information on a
patient
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's chart. Human health is something that cannot be taken non-seriously,
therefore
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, I believe proper medical expertise is the most important skill a
nurse
Use synonyms
 can have. In conclusion,
however
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,a good humanitarian quality can be beneficial, human beings look towards their healthcare provider to have an answer for their discomfort, and it is the job of medical
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 to do their best to provide advanced
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to medical professionals.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing thoughts in a clearer way, ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and ideas are interconnected smoothly.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more relevant examples to support the arguments made, making sure each example aligns with the point being discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
Both perspectives of the argument are discussed, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.
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