Some people prefer the lifestyle and activities offered when living in a cold environment. Others prefer a hot environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyle depends on the
environment
Use synonyms
surrounding
Correct pronoun usage
surrounding it
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that
cold
Correct article usage
a cold
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
offered
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
various activities that
attracte
Correct your spelling
attract
attracted
attracts
some
people
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that others prefer a hot
weather
Use synonyms
area.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
people
Use synonyms
who enjoy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cold
weather
Use synonyms
apparently
Add a missing verb
are apparently
show examples
keen
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
snow vibes
such
Linking Words
as hot drinks.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are interested in snow activities.
In addition
Linking Words
, they may find snow sports
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
attractive so
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will be happy to
practis
Correct your spelling
practise
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of sports in their
homtown
Correct your spelling
home town
.
For example
Linking Words
, if there is a
ski
Replace the word
skiing
show examples
professional, he or she would be delighted to live in a cold country in order to
practis
Correct your spelling
practise
its
Change the word
this
show examples
hobby in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. In terms of
hot
Correct article usage
the hot
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
, I'm convinced that it means
sunny
Add an article
a sunny
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
with 26
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
, because the majority of
people
Use synonyms
would not survive with
a hotter degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
a hotter degree
hotter degrees
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
the hot
environment
Use synonyms
tend to be active during the day, and they
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
that cold
weather
Use synonyms
will let them feel blue. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that, hot
weather
Use synonyms
enforce
Verb problem
forces
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to accomplish their duties and tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
, if an individual
obligated
Add a missing verb
is obligated
show examples
to do some farming tasks, he/she will prefer to finish his/her duties in the early morning. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that moderate is required when you decide where you want to live or where your children will live, for me I will choose hot
weather
Use synonyms
over cold
environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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improvement
Make sure to clearly define all points of view that you are discussing in your response. For instance, while you mention preferences for both cold and hot environments, the discussion could be expanded with more detailed explanations and examples for each.
improvement
Your essay shows good basic organization. However, consider using more diverse linking words and phrases to further improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help enhance the coherence of your writing.
strength
Your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
strength
You provided examples, such as skiing in a cold environment or farming in a hot one, which help to illustrate your points and add specificity to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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