IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the major problems that faces today's governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

#governments #populations #whilst #environment
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
populations and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. It is undeniable that people's equipment
such
 as home has become an essential part of our life. Encouraging the population around the world, caused many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 to change our environment. In my view,
governments
 can address
this
 challenge by adopting sustainable development practices and promoting efficient
land
 use.
Firstly
, sustainable housing is essential.
Governments
 should invest in eco-friendly building materials, renewable energy sources, and energy-efficient designs to minimize the environmental impact of new housing developments.
For instance
, incorporating solar panels and rainwater harvesting systems into residential buildings can reduce dependency on non-renewable resources. These practices ensure that
while
 housing needs are met, the environmental footprint is minimized.
Secondly
, urban planning plays a crucial role.
Governments
 can promote higher-density housing in urban areas to limit urban sprawl. By encouraging apartment buildings and shared spaces, cities can reduce the amount of
land
 needed for new homes, preserving natural habitats and agricultural
land
.
Additionally
, promoting mixed-use developments, where residential and commercial spaces coexist, can reduce the need for long commutes, thereby decreasing pollution and congestion. In conclusion,
while
 the demand for housing presents environmental challenges, adopting sustainable development practices and efficient urban planning can help
governments
 balance these needs. By prioritizing green housing and smarter
land
 use,
governments
 can provide for their populations without compromising the environment.
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task achievement
Consider defining terms like 'sustainable development practices' early in the essay for clarity.
coherence
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion, such as using linking phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover'.
task achievement
You may want to include one more specific example to strengthen your argument, such as a case study from a city that has successfully implemented green housing.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a concise overview of your main argument and summarizing it effectively.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical progression of ideas, starting from identifying the problem to suggesting solutions.
supported main points
The use of examples like solar panels and rainwater harvesting systems illustrates your points well, adding depth to your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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