IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the major problems that faces today's governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 should
take
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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balance
between
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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populations and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. It is undeniable that people's equipment
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as home has become an essential part of our life. Encouraging the population around the world, caused many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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 to change our environment. In my view,
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can address
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 challenge by adopting sustainable development practices and promoting efficient
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 use.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, sustainable housing is essential.
Governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 should invest in eco-friendly building materials, renewable energy sources, and energy-efficient designs to minimize the environmental impact of new housing developments.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, incorporating solar panels and rainwater harvesting systems into residential buildings can reduce dependency on non-renewable resources. These practices ensure that
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 housing needs are met, the environmental footprint is minimized.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, urban planning plays a crucial role.
Governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can promote higher-density housing in urban areas to limit urban sprawl. By encouraging apartment buildings and shared spaces, cities can reduce the amount of
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 needed for new homes, preserving natural habitats and agricultural
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, promoting mixed-use developments, where residential and commercial spaces coexist, can reduce the need for long commutes, thereby decreasing pollution and congestion. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the demand for housing presents environmental challenges, adopting sustainable development practices and efficient urban planning can help
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 balance these needs. By prioritizing green housing and smarter
land
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 use,
governments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can provide for their populations without compromising the environment.

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task achievement
Consider defining terms like 'sustainable development practices' early in the essay for clarity.
coherence
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion, such as using linking phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover'.
task achievement
You may want to include one more specific example to strengthen your argument, such as a case study from a city that has successfully implemented green housing.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a concise overview of your main argument and summarizing it effectively.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical progression of ideas, starting from identifying the problem to suggesting solutions.
supported main points
The use of examples like solar panels and rainwater harvesting systems illustrates your points well, adding depth to your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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