IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its headoffice in another country. Write a letter to your manager in your letter 1.Explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months 2. Say how your work could be done while you are away. 3. Ask for his/her help in arranging it.

#work #company #six #months #headoffice #country #manager #head #office
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear sir, I have been working
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 company for the
last
Linking Words
 years as a senior software engineer. I am currently looking to move
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 head office division 4.
And it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
 is located in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
. I briefly explain in
this
Linking Words
 letter about my transformation. I have well
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
 in software and I am interested
to
Change preposition
in working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in logistics and admin control of applications but here we have only software
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 so I need to go there
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 upgrade myself to learn more certain things and the working period is just 6 months
then
Linking Words
 I will back to here for the
work
Use synonyms
. I already organized Mr. Jacob (Senior soft engineer) and I informed
everything
Correct pronoun usage
him everything
show examples
 about my project
works
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he will
work
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that
as well as
Linking Words
 update you. I need a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
 support from you especially,
make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 some arrangements for my travel plan like tickets, visa,
appointment
Correct word choice
and appointment
show examples
 order.
Additionally
Linking Words
, please inform
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the concerned person who is in head office. Kindly send an official appointment letter to them which is more important. You will accept my
work
Use synonyms
 plan and I am looking for your valuable feedback Regards, Mark
antony
Change the capitalization
Antony
show examples
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by organizing the content in a more sequential order. For instance, start by explaining your experience, then your reasons for the move, followed by how work will be managed in your absence, and concluding with your request for assistance.
single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph covers a single idea to improve readability and clarity. For example, separate the paragraph explaining your experience and reasons for moving from the paragraph about your work arrangement.
complete response
The letter clearly states the reason for the request to work in another country and describes how work will be managed in the author's absence.
suitable writing tone
The letter uses an appropriate and polite tone throughout, suitable for communication with a manager.
greeting and closing
The letter contains a respectful greeting and closing, which are important for formal communication.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: