Too many young people and too many old people do not exercise enough. What is causing this ? What can be done to change this ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In big cities, most
of
Change preposition
apply
people
are Use synonyms
trap
in their Wrong verb form
trapped
work
. No matter who you are, whether you are Use synonyms
man
or woman, old or young, poor or rich, big cities absorb your Correct article usage
a man
time
and energy. Use synonyms
This
is the main reason driving Linking Words
people
to unlist Use synonyms
Use synonyms
excercise
from their daily routine. They just do not have enough Correct your spelling
exercise
time
.
Actually, I think they do have Use synonyms
time
but they do not prioritize Use synonyms
Use synonyms
excercise
. You see, there are too many pressures Correct your spelling
exercise
for
urban Change preposition
on
people
. Success Use synonyms
is define
by money. The more money you have, the more successful your life. Yet in order to have piles of money in your bank account, you have to Change the verb form
is defined
work
Use synonyms
hardly
. It means you have to spend all your Rephrase
hard
time
Use synonyms
in
your Change preposition
on
work
.
I Use synonyms
also
experienced Linking Words
this
situation. When I started working in my early 20s, I pushed myself so much that I only Linking Words
focus
on my Wrong verb form
focused
work
. At that Use synonyms
time
, climbing the ladder of Use synonyms
career
is my only objective. I never had any Correct pronoun usage
my career
Use synonyms
excercise
. Especially my health was quite good in those years.
Suddenly, I found that my friends Correct your spelling
exercise
became
ill one by one. It Wrong verb form
had become
was
always come to me that their health problems were because of Verb problem
has
sedentary
life. Correct article usage
a sedentary
Sedentary
life is when someone only Correct article usage
A sedentary
spend
their hours in Change the verb form
spends
chair
rather than Add an article
a chair
the chair
move
around. Wrong verb form
moving
Compare
to Wrong verb form
Compared
people
in rural Use synonyms
area
, their Fix the agreement mistake
areas
work
is always about moving their Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
such
as farming.
Since that Linking Words
englightment
came to me, I began to push Correct your spelling
engagement
my self
to set Correct your spelling
myself
apart
one hour Rephrase
aside
everyday
to Replace the word
every day
Use synonyms
excercise
. It varies from running to swimming. I feel better and less Correct your spelling
exercise
stressful
.Replace the word
stressed
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on
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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the main points you plan to discuss in the essay. This will help the reader understand the direction your essay will take.
conclusion
Consider providing a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and offers a solution or a prediction about the future.
logical structure
Some of the ideas are repeated, which can affect the logical progression. Try to organize your points in a clear way to avoid redundancy.
cohesion
To improve coherence, use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points and show how they relate to each other.
complete response
Expand on why people prioritize work over exercise and perhaps discuss other potential causes for a lack of exercise in urban areas.
clarity
Clarify and expand on the idea that financial pressure impacts exercise habits. Providing a balanced view could improve your essay.
example
The personal example about your experience with exercise effectively illustrates your point and makes the essay more engaging.
task response
You've identified some key reasons why people might not exercise, such as work pressure and urban lifestyle.
cohesion
The essay transitions well from discussing the problem to offering a personal solution, which maintains reader engagement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.