In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

#cities #people #neighbors #sense #community #measures

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It is true that in many urban areas,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

individuals

lose their connection with their neighbours as they have

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

intercation

Correct your spelling

interaction

with them.

This

happens

due to

the busy schedule of

individuals

, diverse cultural

backgrounds

, technological advancements and increasing crime rates in cities. These problems can be

sort

Wrong verb form

sorted

show examples

out by organizing public events and creating awareness among

individuals

would be beneficial for them. One of the main reasons is that

individuals

have hectic

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

and they do not get enough time to spend

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with their family members.

For example

, most of the

individuals

usually work from 9 am to 9 pm, to earn name and fame in the society. They worked hard to maintain their position in the company and to lead a luxurious lifestyle.

Moreover

people

are using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media platforms more as compared to the past which automatically limit their interaction with their neighbours. Now,

People

prefer to chat with their loved ones and spend their leisure time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

movies

instead

of meeting others face-to-face.

Furthermore

, those

individuals

who are living in apartments and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

condos in urban areas are from diverse cultural

backgrounds

. In

this

way,

people

are unable to understand their language and having diverse cultural, linguistic and socio-economic

backgrounds

restrict

Correct subject-verb agreement

restricts

show examples

them

to interact

Change preposition

from interacting

show examples

with others.

Lastly

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

increasing crime rates in most urban cities set up the mentality of

people

not to trust blindly on anyone.

Therefore

, for the safety of their family members, they limit their interaction and their involvement in the community.

On the other hand

, to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with these problems simple measures can be opted if it is implemented effectively.

Firstly

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social awareness should be created to aware the

individuals

about the importance of

neighbourhood

Correct article usage

the neighbourhood

show examples

and encourage them to do some kind of activities in their daily life.

For instance

, going for a morning walk daily and inviting them on our special occasions helps not only to build strong social

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

but

also

gives them

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

to interact with others. Another point is that participation in public events is beneficial to know about each other well and it improves their communication level by lessening their confusion on distinct

backgrounds

To sum up

people

do not know their neighbours as they have long working hours, cultural diversifications, and of course

secirity

Correct your spelling

security

reasons etcetera. These can be mitigated by educating them and encouraging them to participate in public events to celebrate it collectively.

Submitted by kaurjagdeep2097 on Thu Dec 05 2024

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task response

Try to align your topic sentences with the main causes and solutions. This will help readers quickly grasp the focus of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more transitional words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas.

task response

The essay provides a complete response by addressing both causes and solutions, making it a well-rounded discussion on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the problems and potential solutions, setting a clear direction for the essay.

task response

The use of specific examples, such as working hours and social media usage, enhances the argument and makes it more relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

407 words

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In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, parents prefer to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think that this is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion