IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve world’s traffic and environmental problems is increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion?

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The superlative option
as
Correct word choice
apply
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to fix the traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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 and environmental degradation is to escalate the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gas. And these issues demand a more urgent solution. I am a strong advocate for
this
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 approach and
this
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 essay will
further
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 explain the reason.
Firstly
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, raising the price of gas will discourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
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excessive car usage, thereby reducing
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
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 and carbon monoxide emissions which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 detrimental to the ecosystem.
For instance
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,
study
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a study
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 in Sweden
have
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has
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indicate
Change the verb form
indicated
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 an approximately 15% decrease in car utilization, which leads to an improvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air quality and
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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.
Additionally
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,
this
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 will shift to
a more environmentally friendly vehicles
Correct the article-noun agreement
more environmentally friendly vehicles
a more environmentally friendly vehicle
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such
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 as hybrid cars, as individuals look for ways to cut expenses.
Thus
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,
this
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 can help in combating
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
changes
Change the noun form
change
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 issues and traffic.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 can help to boost the use of public transportation
shifting
Change preposition
by shifting
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 to mass transit. As the expenses of private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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 rises, people are incentivized to switch to buses or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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trains, which are
eco-friendlier
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
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 and more fuel-efficient. To illustrate, the UK
governments
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government
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 have seen
substantial
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a substantial
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 rise
of
Change preposition
in
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 public transport usage with about 12% within a year. On top of that,
this
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 can
further
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 encourage carpooling and shared mobility
of
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in
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 the community. Individuals are more likely to share rides and split expenses with the rise of
cost
Add an article
the cost
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 of fuel. With the reduction in the number of vehicles,
this
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 can alleviate traffic issues.
To sum up
Linking Words
, increasing the price of gas will effectively help to diminish the number of congestion and pollution by discouraging
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car use and promoting more sustainable alternatives.

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positive
The essay provides a clear stance by agreeing with the statement that increasing the cost of fuel solves traffic and environmental problems.
positive
The introduction effectively presents the topic and thesis statement.
suggestion
Ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement. For example, it should be "studies in Sweden have indicated" instead of "study in Sweden have indicate."
suggestion
Strengthen the link between paragraphs. While the essay has a clear topic sentence, transitional phrases could slightly improve the flow.
suggestion
Provide a stronger conclusion that not only summarizes the essay but also highlights potential future implications or calls to action.
structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
development
The arguments are coherent and support the main thesis.
examples
Good examples are provided to explain the arguments, such as the study in Sweden and the UK government's experience with public transport.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • carpooling
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable transport
  • pollution
  • infrastructure
  • alternative modes of transportation
  • inequitable solution
  • inflation
  • multi-pronged approach
  • urban planning
  • commuting
  • dependence
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