Blood sports (any spots involving Killing or shedding of blood as bull fighting, cockfighting or hunting)have become hot topic for debate in recent years.as society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed.blood sports should be banned.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

#blood #sports #spots #bull #topic #debate #years #society #activity #animals

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As empathy and consciousness

regading

Correct your spelling

regarding

Change preposition

apply

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animals

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are

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becoming more and more important to the population, sports related to harming any living being are

dissapearing

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disappearing

. From my point of view, hurting cannot be called

sport

Correct article usage

a sport

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neither

Correct word choice

nor

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an entertainment. Is it true that

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

like hunting have been, and actually are, for some people their way of living as they live in certain areas where food is not as accessible as in the most populated areas

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Even

this

could be a strong argument, it cannot be an excuse not to take action against animal cruelty.

Pursue

Wrong verb form

Pursuing

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wild life

Correct your spelling

wildlife

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with the only purpose of having fun

while

killling

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killing

an animal is sadistic and uncivilized. When is hunting season many innocent lives are being taken, like baby mammals which are not permitted to kill.

Also

, some of these animals sometimes are hurt and left agonizing until they die, which is a sad way to end their lives.

This

could be considered a biodiversity

threaten

Replace the word

threat

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Furthermore

, one of the main statements that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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is used to defend these horrific acts called sports is that these are

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

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. In some places like Spain,

bull fighting

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bullfighting

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extremelly

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extremely

normal, these acts are taking place almost every day. Some of them may not involve killing the animal but it does not mean that they do not suffer.

Moreover

, children are

also

taken to watch

this

extreme violence, which could leave them

mental

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with mental

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issues. In conclusion, taking part

against

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blood sports is crucial for a healthy society. I strongly believe that banning these events could make a big difference in our relationship with nature.

Submitted by lusitusi:) on Thu Dec 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of ideas.

task achievement

Further elaborate on each point with more detailed examples or statistics.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue of blood sports, arguing that they should be banned due to cruelty towards animals.

coherence cohesion

You consistently maintain your position throughout the essay, providing a coherent argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Blood sports
Uncivilized activity
Cruelty to animals
Ethical implications
Cultural tradition
Conservation efforts
Biodiversity
Psychological effects
Desensitization
Alternative sports
Empathy
Compassion
Banning
Animal rights
Recreational activities

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People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?