Blood sports (any spots involving Killing or shedding of blood as bull fighting, cockfighting or hunting)have become hot topic for debate in recent years.as society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed.blood sports should be banned.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE
As empathy and consciousness
regading
Correct your spelling
regarding
to
animals Change preposition
apply
is
becoming more and more important to the population, sports related to harming any living being are Change the verb form
are
dissapearing
. From my point of view, hurting cannot be called Correct your spelling
disappearing
sport
, Correct article usage
a sport
neither
an entertainment.
Is it true that Correct word choice
nor
activites
like hunting have been, and actually are, for some people their way of living as they live in certain areas where food is not as accessible as in the most populated areasCorrect your spelling
activities
.
Even Change the punctuation
?
this
could be a strong argument, it cannot be an excuse not to take action against animal cruelty. Pursue
Wrong verb form
Pursuing
wild life
with the only purpose of having fun Correct your spelling
wildlife
while
killling
an animal is sadistic and uncivilized. When is hunting season many innocent lives are being taken, like baby mammals which are not permitted to kill. Correct your spelling
killing
Also
, some of these animals sometimes are hurt and left agonizing until they die, which is a sad way to end their lives. This
could be considered a biodiversity threaten
.
Replace the word
threat
Furthermore
, one of the main statements that it
is used to defend these horrific acts called sports is that these are Correct pronoun usage
apply
tradition
. In some places like Spain, Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
bull fighting
is Correct your spelling
bullfighting
extremelly
normal, these acts are taking place almost every day. Some of them may not involve killing the animal but it does not mean that they do not suffer. Correct your spelling
extremely
Moreover
, children are also
taken to watch this
extreme violence, which could leave them mental
issues.
In conclusion, taking part Change preposition
with mental
against
blood sports is crucial for a healthy society. I strongly believe that banning these events could make a big difference in our relationship with nature.Change preposition
in
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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Further elaborate on each point with more detailed examples or statistics.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue of blood sports, arguing that they should be banned due to cruelty towards animals.
coherence cohesion
You consistently maintain your position throughout the essay, providing a coherent argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite