lt is suggeted that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?

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Some
generation
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generations
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of
people
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argue that when all adolescents
work
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for a period of
time
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without
recieving
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receiving
money
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, they can have
better
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a better
show examples
community. In my opinion,
this
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way
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really helpful for
beginers
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beginners
to improve some
skills
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and their awareness
in
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of
show examples
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work
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a work
the work
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atmosphere.
In
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This
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this
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essay will discuss about advantages and disadvantages
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this
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of this
show examples
phenomenon and
gives
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give
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conclusion
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the conclusion
a conclusion
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. It is essential to
work
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without getting paid
fore
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for
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some
people
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who do not have previous experience and want to enter the
workeplace
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workplace
. One of the benefits of
this
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way
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is, improving social
skills
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. In the contemporary era, teamwork is
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a realy
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realy sicnificant
Correct your spelling
really significant
issue that
majority
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the majority
show examples
of departments and institutes care to achieve it.
First,
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social
skills
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is
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are
show examples
teamwork which accelerates
process
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the process
show examples
and decreases risk of the mistakes. Another one is
responsibility
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a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
, that when
people
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stay in special job position, they are
foreced
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forced
to do some activities.
This
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way
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leads to
decents
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decent
descents
thr
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the
risk of
erorrs
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errors
in their real job.
Moreover
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,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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a period of
time
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on unpaid
work
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helps to increase their self-conditions.
However
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they do not get
money
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and
is
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it
show examples
is not
real
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a real
show examples
position for them, they get
high
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a high
the high
show examples
level of stress for doing
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a completely
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completely
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complete
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task for
first
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the first
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time
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.
As a result
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, it is
pretty
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a pretty
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way
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to control their stress.
In contrast
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, there are two negative points that
points
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point
show examples
out to drawbacks
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this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
figure.
People
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who
work
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whithout
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without
salary
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a salary
show examples
,
they
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apply
show examples
suffer from their budget.
it is clear that
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they may struggle with
presureing
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pressuring
preserving
finance and
no
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not
show examples
have any
money
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for their transportation and buying food.
In addition
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, they lose
thier
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their
motivation
due to
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not
stabaling
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stabilising
situation
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the situation
show examples
. It is not only
they
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do they
show examples
become depressed but
also
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they lose their
intrests
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interests
interest
.
To sum up
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, working without getting paid for
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
of
time
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has benefits
such
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as
develope
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developing
social
skills
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and
climb
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climbing
show examples
confidence. Despite that, some
presures
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pressures
like empty pockets of
money
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and
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
depression are some
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
that may take part for them.
Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly answers the question of whether unpaid work brings more benefits or drawbacks to young people. At times, your essay veered into general statements about unpaid work rather than focusing on its impact on young people specifically.
task response
Provide clearer examples that directly relate to young people's experiences with unpaid community work. Real-world examples, case studies, or specific scenarios can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a fuller engagement with the task.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph deals with different aspects, the transitions could be smoother. Consider using connectors to guide the reader more seamlessly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
End with a clearer and more concise conclusion that directly reflects the essay question, summarizing your main arguments while asserting your final stance on the topic.
task response
There is a distinguished attempt to balance both the benefits and the drawbacks of young people undertaking unpaid work in the community. This shows consideration of multiple perspectives, which is a strength.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a structured approach to the essay. This helps in framing your argument and giving the reader guidance on your standpoint.
task response
Your exploration of the benefits, such as improving social skills and building confidence, is relevant and offers insight into why unpaid work can be beneficial. Keep building on those points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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