lt is suggeted that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?
Some
generation
of Fix the agreement mistake
generations
people
argue that when all adolescents work
for a period of time
without recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
money
, they can have better
community. In my opinion, Add an article
a better
this
way
really helpful for beginers
to improve some Correct your spelling
beginners
skills
and their awareness in
Change preposition
of
work
atmosphere. Add an article
a work
the work
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay will discuss about advantages and disadvantages this
phenomenon and Change preposition
of this
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
conclusion
.
It is essential to Add an article
the conclusion
a conclusion
work
without getting paid fore
some Correct your spelling
for
people
who do not have previous experience and want to enter the workeplace
. One of the benefits of Correct your spelling
workplace
this
way
is, improving social skills
. In the contemporary era, teamwork is Correct article usage
a realy
realy sicnificant
issue that Correct your spelling
really significant
majority
of departments and institutes care to achieve it. Correct article usage
the majority
First,
social skills
is
teamwork which accelerates Change the verb form
are
process
and decreases risk of the mistakes. Another one is Add an article
the process
responsibility
, that when Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
people
stay in special job position, they are foreced
to do some activities. Correct your spelling
forced
This
way
leads to decents
Correct your spelling
decent
descents
thr
risk of Correct your spelling
the
erorrs
in their real job. Correct your spelling
errors
Moreover
, work
a period of Wrong verb form
working
time
on unpaid work
helps to increase their self-conditions. However
they do not get money
and is
is not Correct your spelling
it
real
position for them, they get Add an article
a real
high
level of stress for doing Add an article
a high
the high
Correct article usage
a completely
completely
task for Change the word
complete
first
Change the article
the first
time
. As a result
, it is pretty
Add an article
a pretty
way
to control their stress.
In contrast
, there are two negative points that points
out to drawbacks Change the verb form
point
this
figure. Change preposition
of this
People
who work
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
salary
, Correct article usage
a salary
they
suffer from their budget. Correct pronoun usage
apply
it is clear that
they may struggle with presureing
finance and Correct your spelling
pressuring
preserving
no
have any Correct your spelling
not
money
for their transportation and buying food. In addition
, they lose thier
motivation Correct your spelling
their
due to
not stabaling
Correct your spelling
stabilising
situation
. It is not only Correct article usage
the situation
they
become depressed but Add a missing verb
do they
also
they lose their intrests
.
Correct your spelling
interests
interest
To sum up
, working without getting paid for period
of Add an article
a period
the period
time
has benefits such
as develope
social Correct your spelling
developing
skills
and climb
confidence. Despite that, some Change the form of the verb
climbing
presures
like empty pockets of Correct your spelling
pressures
money
and make
depression are some Verb problem
apply
happend
that may take part for them.Correct your spelling
happened
happen
Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly answers the question of whether unpaid work brings more benefits or drawbacks to young people. At times, your essay veered into general statements about unpaid work rather than focusing on its impact on young people specifically.
task response
Provide clearer examples that directly relate to young people's experiences with unpaid community work. Real-world examples, case studies, or specific scenarios can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a fuller engagement with the task.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. While each paragraph deals with different aspects, the transitions could be smoother. Consider using connectors to guide the reader more seamlessly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
End with a clearer and more concise conclusion that directly reflects the essay question, summarizing your main arguments while asserting your final stance on the topic.
task response
There is a distinguished attempt to balance both the benefits and the drawbacks of young people undertaking unpaid work in the community. This shows consideration of multiple perspectives, which is a strength.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a structured approach to the essay. This helps in framing your argument and giving the reader guidance on your standpoint.
task response
Your exploration of the benefits, such as improving social skills and building confidence, is relevant and offers insight into why unpaid work can be beneficial. Keep building on those points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.