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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter #report #university #lecturer
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The line graph illustrates the data mean amount of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who visit
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2023. Visitors in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 season have by far the highest number of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 compared with
Use synonyms
winter
Add an article
the winter
show examples
 season. In
summer
Use synonyms
, the trend of
tourists
Use synonyms
 grows sharply to peak at 12 o'clock and
then
Linking Words
 falls steadily.
However
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 reach a peak at 10 A.M. and next fluctuate until 1130 after that they drop. The
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 who
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 increased significantly from
zero
Use synonyms
 to reach a peak at 1200 approximately 1500
people
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
it decreased to 800 and
then
Linking Words
 went down rapidly to
zero
Use synonyms
 at 1800.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in
winter
Use synonyms
beginned
Correct your spelling
beginner
beginning
 and stepped up
t o
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 500
people
Use synonyms
 at 1000 ,
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 around 400-600 between 1000 and 1130. It reduced to
zero
Use synonyms
 at 1430. In comparison, the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 of visitors in
summer
Use synonyms
 was
very
Rephrase
much
show examples
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
 than the
once
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 around 1000
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same period.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
declinced
Correct your spelling
declined
 dramatically to
zero
Use synonyms
 at 1430 faster than
Use synonyms
summer
Change preposition
in summer
show examples
crashed
Wrong verb form
crashing
show examples
 to no
people
Use synonyms
 around three hours.
Submitted by Worachot Nakduk on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, summer, winter, zero, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peak season
  • Off-peak season
  • Visitor influx
  • Steady increase
  • Significant drop
  • Month-on-month comparison
  • Seasonal variation
  • Cultural attraction
  • Tourism trends
  • Historical data
  • Visitor demographics
  • Analytical observation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Statistical evidence
  • Conclusive summary
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