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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagrams below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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The diagrams compare the differences between a
ground floor
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ground-floor
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 library in 2001 and its redeveloped version in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were extensive developments concerning the construction of facilities, additional tables, and
book
Use synonyms
sections
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 at the library. In 2001, there were only four types of
book
Use synonyms
sections
Use synonyms
: self-help
books
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, history
books
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, fiction
books
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, and
newpapers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 and periodicals. The reading section was located in the centre of the room, with the librarian's desk situated close behind the entrance.
According to
Linking Words
 the improvements in 2009, other types of
books
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 were added, increasing the total
book
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sections
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 on the left side to six.
Although
Linking Words
 the reading section in the centre room remained, the tables were changed to longer ones.
While
Linking Words
 all
book
Use synonyms
sections
Use synonyms
 were located in one area, the fiction section was replaced with additional tables.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a children's area was built between the two reading
sections
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. On the right side, newspapers and periodicals were removed and converted into films and
DVD
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DVDs
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.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words book, sections, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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