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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming more and more difficult to eacape the influence of the media on our lives.  Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

#eacape #influence #media #lives #society
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In the modern world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people feel the strong impact of
media's
Change noun form
media
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 aspects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our lives, especially news on our phones can attract easily our focus.
This
 essay will touch on the benefits and drawbacks of
wideness
Add an article
the wideness
show examples
 of
media
. On the one hand,
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
show examples
 of
media
 has some positive sides
on
Change preposition
to
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 our decision-making process, knowledge and intelligence. It would be impossible to decide correctly our education and career choices without knowing
process
Correct article usage
the process
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 which is happening in the world and the status quo of
international
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the international
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 system.
Because we
Correct word choice
We
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 need to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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 political, social and
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 agenda news in Sweden before we decide to study master's degree
in
Change preposition
apply
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there. Meanwhile, to follow
media
 makes us more knowledgeable and intellectual. Of course, it will be
weak
Correct article usage
a weak
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 side when you do not have information about the ongoing wars which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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impact
Add an article
an impact
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 on a lot of global issues.
On the other hand
, to follow
media
 closely has some negative sides for our
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
 well-being and feelings.
For example
, getting a few
notification
Change to a plural noun
notifications
show examples
 about the statistics of soldier
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 in some
war
Fix the agreement mistake
wars
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 is enough to feel depressed and dismal.
In addition
, as I read in the book, Stolen Focus,
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 close to agenda news can hurt our focus and concentration
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rational
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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,
such
 as preparing for
exam
Add an article
an exam
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 or doing some tasks. Because it would be
addiction
Add an article
an addiction
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 to control
media
 increasingly and we are losing our willpower. In conclusion, it can be seen that
media
 has some pluses,
such
 as becoming more aware,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
 correct decisions about important things.
However
, there are some downsides about
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
 health and focusing.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing abstract ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence by ensuring that there's a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's topic and presents the main points for discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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