IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 jummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 jummarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #jummarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graphic below
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 us
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
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 of
two
Correct article usage
the two
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gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 that
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 activity.
Overall
,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
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 that we see, is that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is higher than
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 gender. In every age,
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 young ages,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
. The best
percentage
 is ages from 15 to 24 (52.8%),the worst is from 35 to 44 (39.5%).For
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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woman
Add a comma
woman,
show examples
 the best is from 45 to 54 (53.3%),worst from 65 and over (47.1%).
According to
 the graphic,
most
Add an article
the most
a most
show examples
 active period for men is from 15 to 24 (52.8%) and from 55 to 64 (45.1%).And the most disactive period is from 25 to 34 (42.2%) and from 35 to 44 (39.5%). For
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 the best ages are 45 to 54 (53.3%),
55
Correct word choice
and 55
show examples
 to 64 (53%).Worst period is 65 and over (47.1)
Finally
, in Australia
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 are more active than men
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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