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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurants #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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How we know fast
food
Use synonyms
 is the most popular type of
food
Use synonyms
 in USA.
That is
Linking Words
 why most Americans
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
. There we have a chart, that gives us data about eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 for 10 years (2003-2013). The percentage of people eating every
day
Use synonyms
 is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 but we should notice that getting fast
food
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cancer, obesity and other types of sickness,
that is
Linking Words
 why
this
Linking Words
 number
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 high (3-4%).Next
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 several times a
day
Use synonyms
, of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 it is
also
Linking Words
 dangerous for health, but it is a little bit higher than every
day
Use synonyms
(16-20%).Once a week is very similar to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 chart, but
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 change
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 in 2006
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a week was higher (25-34%).After, we see
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very interesting data where people
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
getting
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 a few times a week in 2006 and 2013
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 similar(13-15%).
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 proportion of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 never
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 ın 2003 was higher, but after 2006 situation changed and the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in 2006 and 2013 got similar (4-5%)
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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