Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sports, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In
this
modern era,
Due to
advancements in technology, most individuals ignore outdoor
sports
and spend half of their time using mobile phones.
However
,
Sports
play
an
Change the article
a
show examples
vital role in every
person
's life.
Moreover
, Today
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to share my views from two different
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
, where some people believe that physical
strength
is more important as compared to mental health. So, In upcoming paragraphs,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss
both
views. Some individuals believe that to achieve success in
sports
physical
strength
is more important. One of the major reasons for assuming
this
is because in every game every individual needs high stamina or
strength
and without these, they can not able to survive
For example
, In football all players need good
strength
to complete
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
of 90 minutes of the game and in
this
90 minutes anything can happen
such
as injury and for recovering form that they need high
strength
.
In addition
, It seems very universal that whenever there is a selection for any sport most of the selectors choose those persons who have high physical
strength
.
On the other hand
, there are
also
several people who think that mental health plays an important role in
sports
. First of all, there are many games in which people need more mental
strength
, One of the best examples is Chess, When a
person
is playing chess they need their all mental
strength
to defeat their opponent.
Secondly
, mental
strength
is
also
important because it
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that when a
person
is mentally strong they can win a losing game
also
Such
as, In football if one team scores 2 goals in the first half it will directly impact the mental health of
opponent
Add an article
the opponent
show examples
team and they will
loose
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lose
show examples
confidence or they will believe they are going to
loose
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lose
show examples
.
However
, If the team have high mental
strength
they will try to win until the
last
minutes of the match. In my opinion, I believe that
both
physical and mental strengths are important because a sportsman is always incomplete if they do not have
both
of the skills.
In addition
, for competing in hard situations
person
needs physical
strength
and to give the best performance under stress they need mental
strength
So I think that
both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
are equally important
Submitted by sukhsaini.3222 on

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coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases to improve coherence. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas seamlessly.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced coverage of both views to achieve a higher task response score. Consider elaborating more on each point with additional examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph organization. Ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next will improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up a discussion of both views.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the argument, such as discussing football and chess.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer’s opinion, tying together the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical strength
  • endurance
  • athlete
  • performance
  • injury prevention
  • mental strength
  • pressure
  • focus
  • high-stakes situations
  • mental game
  • resilience
  • setbacks
  • recover
  • motivated
  • foundation
  • longevity
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