IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A friend who is planning to visit you has asked you to describe the most interesting and enjoyable things to do in the community where you currently live. Write an email to your friend, telling them about these things. In your email, Say what these things are Say why they are interesting/enjoyable Suggest what you can do together Begin your letter ‘Dear --------’ Do not write any addresses

#friend #visit #community #email #‘dear #addresses
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In
this
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 time period,
Sports
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 play an important role in every individual's life because
sports
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 strengthen a person physically and mentally.
However
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, there are many persons who think that only fit and
storng
Correct your spelling
strong
 people can achieve
success
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 in
sports
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,
Whereas
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 some individuals believe that
success
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 only depends on mental attitudes.
Moreover
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,
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 views
along with
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 my perspective in upcoming paragraphs. First of all, Many folks assume that to become a successful sportsperson they need strong physical
strength
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 because some
sports
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 need high
strength
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 to perform.
For instance
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, weightlifting or rugby
both
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 games need high physical
strength
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.
In addition
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, The main reason for
this
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 is if they have a good physical body, it will reduce the risk of injury or they can recover fast from the injury.
Secondly
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, good physical health always helps players to compete with full endurance and energy.
On the Other hand
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, There are
also
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 some people who believe that the only way to achieve
success
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 in
sports
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 is a good mental attitude.
Moreover
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, they think that mental
strength
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 determines the player's ability to handle stress
while
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 performing, Not only
this
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 but
also
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 helps to stay focused on the game and control their emotion because if players lose control of
minds
Correct pronoun usage
their minds
show examples
 they can not give their best so
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 mental attitude is
also
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 important. In conclusion, I believe that
both
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 physical and mental
strength
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 equally important because
both
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 play a crucial role in
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 person's life.
In addition
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, physical
strength
Use synonyms
 helps to reduce injuries
whereas
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 mental
strength
Use synonyms
 helps to make the right decision at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right time So if any individual wants to achieve
success
Use synonyms
 in their life they have to work on
both
Use synonyms
 skills.
Submitted by sukhsaini.3222 on

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suitable writing tone
Make sure to maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the essay, as it occasionally shifts. This will improve clarity and engagement with the reader.
greeting and closing
Add a short greeting at the beginning of the essay, usually in the form of 'Dear Examiner,' or 'Hello,' to set the tone.
complete response
The essay thoroughly discusses both views on physical and mental strength in sports, providing detailed explanations and examples for each.
single idea per paragraph
Ideas are generally well-organized with separate paragraphs dedicated to discussing physical strength, mental strength, and the conclusion.
logical structure
The essay presents a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different perspectives, and a conclusion summing up the argument.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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