Some people believe more action can be taken to prevent crime, while other think that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #action #crime

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Some

people

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believe that more

action

Use synonyms

can be taken to prevent

crime

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

believe that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

very few

things

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can be done to prevent

crime

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. I personally believe that

while

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few

things

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help to find

alternative

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ways

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to prevent

crime

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, taking appropriate

action

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is more effective because it really helps to prevent

crime

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. Few

things

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can help to prevent

crime

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. Few

things

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help to find other

alternative

Use synonyms

ways

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such

Linking Words

as raising awareness among the public to mitigate

crime

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, increasing opportunities for the citizens to report

crime

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, and taking immediate

actions

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against

crime

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. If these

alternative

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ways

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can be considered, these help to prevent

crime

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and ensure

safety

Add an article

the safety

show examples

of the public.

For example

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, in Bangladesh, the government passed a law in 2023, which provided opportunities

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for

show examples

women to report gender-based violence immediately, and

this

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helped to reduce rape and the rate of violence against women.

However

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, I personally

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that only considering

alternative

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options to mitigate

crime

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is not always sufficient. If proper

actions

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can be taken, it helps to fight against

crime

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. If the government always prioritizes taking immediate

actions

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such

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as putting

the

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apply

show examples

criminals behind bars or giving them penalties

such

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fine

Fix the agreement mistake

fines

show examples

. These types of

actions

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help to reduce

crime

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significantly because these help to set examples, which encourage

people

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not to be involved in

crime

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For example

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, the government of Saudi Arabia always prioritizes imprisonment and capital punishment to punish

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminals in front of the general public.

Therefore

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people

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do not involve themselves in

crime

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because they have the fear of imprisonment or capital punishment. I believe that these

actions

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are more helpful because they raise awareness among the public. In conclusion, I personally believe that taking

action

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to prevent

crime

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is more useful than finding other

alternative

Use synonyms

ways

Use synonyms

. Taking

action

Use synonyms

sets examples and helps to prevent

crime

Use synonyms

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Fri Dec 06 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments.

Task Achievement

While you provided good examples, consider providing even more precise examples or evidence to support your arguments further.

Introduction

The introduction clearly presents the topic and provides a brief overview of your opinion, setting the stage for the discussion.

Task Achievement

The essay remains focused on the debate between different views on crime prevention, providing a balanced discussion.

Task Achievement

Relevant examples, such as the Bangladesh law and Saudi Arabian policies, effectively illustrate your points.

Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your main argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people believe more action can be taken to prevent crime, while other think that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you thik the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

A man called Pete who is friend of friend, is planning to visit town. Write a letter to Pete. In your letter introduce yourself suggest somethings to do in your town mention one thing you would not recommend

Some people think that only those people who have worked for a company for many years should be promoted to a higher position. Do you agree?

Many people nowadays decide not to work for a large company but to become self-employed. What problems might this decision cause? What can they do to solve these problems?