The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar illustrates the amount of the most spent
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying five different items (cars, computers, books, perfume, and cameras) in two different countries (
France
Use synonyms
and the United Kingdom) by 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, The most preferred of the two countries was consuming vehicles in 2010,
while
Linking Words
spending
money
Use synonyms
on fragrances was most lowest in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the least
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expenditure on
photographic
Replace the word
photography
show examples
in
France
Use synonyms
. In terms of cars, citizens in the
UK
Use synonyms
spent their
money
Use synonyms
amount of 450,000
pounds
Use synonyms
in 2010 higher than 50,000
pounds
Use synonyms
different from
France
Use synonyms
(400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
).
As well as
Linking Words
books and cameras
also
Linking Words
had the highest number of consumers in the
UK
Use synonyms
which shows people in
theUK
Correct your spelling
the UK
love spending their time reading and photographing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people in
France
Use synonyms
had the most interest in computers and fragrances. From the bar, people in
France
Use synonyms
spent
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on computers more than 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
expenditure in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
at 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Fragrance consumption in
France
Use synonyms
amount
Correct subject-verb agreement
amounts
show examples
to 200,000
pounds
Use synonyms
which was once higher than in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
amounting to 140,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dliyaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, france, uk, pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: