IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the rise of social media, an increasing number of young people are being granted unsupervised internet access to interact and chat with friends. This situation can potentially lead to dangerous scenarios. What solutions can be proposed to address this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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social media allowed many teenagers to
unsupervised
Add a missing verb
have unsupervised
show examples
 access to the internet
fot
Correct your spelling
for
 meeting and
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
 with friends which can lead to
potentially
Change the adverb
potential
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 situations.
This
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 problem can be solved by parental
contoal
Correct your spelling
control
 and
school
Use synonyms
 education.
Firstly
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, the effective solution that can be
implememnted
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implemented
 to overcome
this
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issue
Use synonyms
 is that
parents
Use synonyms
 should know the
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 may come from
this
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 addiction
of
Change preposition
to
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 social media to control their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
In other words
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, protecting them by
contoroling
Correct your spelling
controlling
 usege
to
Change preposition
of
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 their mobile
as well as
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 observing which apps
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
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 to
avoied
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avoid
 them from
this
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issue
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may lead them to health
Use synonyms
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 as well.
For example
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, there are some apps
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for
this
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 which
parents
Use synonyms
 can
been controalled
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
 their mobile,
Moreover
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, they can put
Add an article
a limit
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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for
Change preposition
on
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usege
Correct your spelling
usage
.
As a result
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,
this
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 will reduce some of
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these issues
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issue
Use synonyms
 if
parents
Use synonyms
 take action in order to protect their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. Because
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 we are facing enormous
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 development in our life.
Secondly
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,
this
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conundurm
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conundrum
also
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can
Verb problem
apply
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be tackled if they get some
knowlged
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledged
 about the
harmfull
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harm
 from their
school
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, they will
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
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 come from using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 so much.
This
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to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 say, schools have to educate them by teaching
how
Correct pronoun usage
them how
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 to deal with new technology and
avoied addication
Correct your spelling
avoid addiction
. For
intenste
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instance
, by doing some
activets
Correct your spelling
activities
 or events for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good way to use mobile
such
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 as making
compation
Correct your spelling
competition
 among students,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they will gain
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to
controal
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control
 themself.
Thus
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, if schools did more courses for the
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
,they would improve their
studentds
Correct your spelling
students
student's
perfoemance
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performance
 in order to avoid any problem in sie
school
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, In order to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
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 youngsters from
unspervised
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unsupervised
 access to the internet,
controaling
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controlling
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 and educating them
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 are effective.

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure the introduction clearly outlines both the issue and the proposed solutions with more clarity.
task achievement
Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensible.
task achievement
The essay provides ideas for both parental control and school education as solutions to the problem.
coherence cohesion
There is a conclusion summarizing the main points.
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