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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about energy consumption in the USA since 1980, with projections until 2030.
#information #report #energy #consumption #usa #projections
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The line graph illustrates the amount of seven kinds of
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
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 (petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind,and
hydropower
Use synonyms
) in the USA which were consumed over 50 years from 1980 to 2030. Units are measured in
quadrillion
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that all the energy
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 out in different quantities and the consumption of all the energies showed
and
Correct your spelling
an
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 upward trend and they are expected to increase over the period given except
hydropower
Use synonyms
 is
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
. At the start of the period, petrol and oil is the most popular fuel
while
Linking Words
hydropower
Use synonyms
 is less
fuel consuming
Add a hyphen
fuel-consuming
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. With regards to the amount of petrol and oil used, it began at around 35
quadrillion
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 and
then
Linking Words
 peaked at 50 in 2030.
Likewise
Linking Words
, approximately 20
quadrillion
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 of natural gas was consumed in the first year after which the figure fluctuated slightly and is expected to
culminated
Change the verb
culminate
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 at 25
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the consumption of coal at the beginning was 15 before it rapidly
touch
Wrong verb form
touched
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 the highest point at nearly 30 in the final year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of nuclear, solar/wind and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 started
with
Change preposition
at
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 one point which is at around 3
quadrillion
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 in 1980 after that unclear and wind /solar go up
however
Linking Words
,
hydropower
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 is expected
touch
Fix the infinitive
to touch
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 the lowest point in 2030 at almost 1
quadrillion
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hydropower, quadrillion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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