IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think school should only teach academic subject. Others think school should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

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There is a variety of opinions about that. Teachers
could
Verb problem
do
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 not have time to do everything at once, especially when they have a lot of pupils under their control.
Therefore
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, despite that it seems well enough, it is not always possible, and can't be applied in each case.
Firstly
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, a primary
school
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 is a place where children go for the first time
,
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apply
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 when they are grown up enough to enrol in
school
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.
This
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 place must teach them common
school
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 subjects, that entered in a main
school
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 program. The more individuals know, the more they are prepared for life, and it indicates that an impact on society will be quite significant, it will only benefit. Actually, it is very important to develop skills behind academic knowledge, aim to create critical citizens and adults ready to action on solving real problems and not only prepared to do their jobs like robots.
For example
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, medicine is a very demanding profession in the USA, as it pays highly. In conclusion, there are a group of people who think education should only teach the basic subjects
whereas
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 another group believe that education should show the difference between wrong and right things
according to
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 several points of view. I support the second proposition. Certainly, it is a primary issue for parents and families,
however
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, schools have a complementary responsibility to bring new ideas and form adults who are able to reflect on themselves and know the rules of conduct.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to your main thesis. This will enhance the logical flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay's relevance and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas further by elaborating on how teaching right from wrong in schools contributes to society. This will help present clear and comprehensive ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay introduces a clear discussion of the two viewpoints and provides a conclusion that states your opinion.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views, and you have included your own opinion, which is essential for a complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for discussing the importance of teaching right and wrong in schools.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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