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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, there are more workers working from home and more students studying from home, due to the fact that computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#workers #home #students #fact #computer #technology #trend
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The growth of the internet caused an increasing number of people to work or study online
instead
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 go to a company or school. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive development that gives people more flexibility, accessibility and less money spent on transportation.  First of all, there are many benefits to working or studying online.
Employees
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 and
students
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 have more flexibility, and comfort and enjoy accessibility at home.
Employees
Use synonyms
 and
students
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 can spend more time with their families. Another reason is
employees
Use synonyms
 and
students
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 can increase their
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
 which
this
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 good for increasing their skills. 
On the other hand
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, working and learning from home can increase mental health problems
such
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 as isolation which can lead to depression.
Students
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 and
employees
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 should spend time in front of the screen all day and
this
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 can affect vision health
such
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 as blurred vision, dry eyes, and headaches.  In conclusion, there are both positive and negative effects from working and studying online. Working and studying from home is easy to access everywhere and more comfortable.
However
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, they should limit their time when focusing on laptops to avoid vision symptoms and mental problems.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words effectively can help in creating a seamless flow of ideas.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, aim to develop each point more fully, perhaps with examples or elaboration, to make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported, contributing to the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both pros and cons, demonstrating a balanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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