IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that cycling is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport.However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of the bicycle among wider population?

#people #mode #transport #countries #bicycle #population
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These days, biking is not only a method of transportation but
also
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 an effective way
for having
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to have
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clean
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a clean
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 environment.
However
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, it can be seen that more nations are unaware
how
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of how
show examples
 healthy is bicycle riding or are reluctant to
use
Use synonyms
 it. There can be two main reasons for
this
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 situation, but states can take suitable actions to
rise
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raise
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motivations
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motivation
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 among
people
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 to
use
Use synonyms
bikes
Use synonyms
 regularly. Possibly the main reason is the specific lifestyle that
people
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 have.
Sedantry
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Sedentary
 lifestyle is an omnipresent one in some countries,
which
Correct word choice
where
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people
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 prefer not to have more active lives.
Consequently
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, they tend to
use
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 cars
instead
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 of
bikes
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 for commuting. In the US,
people
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use
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 their private
cares
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cars
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 for transferring between very short distances, and most of the time their drivers are obese
ones
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apply
show examples
. A
further
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 well-known cause is the lack of decent cycling
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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 in most areas.
Although
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people
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 have
crave
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craved
show examples
 for widespread
use
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 of
bike
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bikes
show examples
, they cannot devise it in the cities. Without having appropriate cycling trails next to the streets,
occurrence
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the occurrence
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 of accidents, like colliding
pedestrians
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with pedestrians
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 or cars, is highly possible.
That is
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 why
less
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fewer
show examples
people
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 utilize bicycles routinely. Turning to the remedies, governments can set promotive actions to propel
people
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.
On
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One
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 effective way is financial incentives.
For example
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,in Austria, if citizens commute with their bicycles between workplaces and homes, they will be paid a specific amount of money
at the end
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 of the year.
This
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 would spur them to ride more,
as a result
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, less fuel is burned in cars
as well as
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people
Use synonyms
 will be much more active and healthy. The second solution would be providing facilities and basic roads for bicycle riders within the cities. As
people
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 observe that the dangers of
traveling
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travelling
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 with
bikes
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 are lessened,
then
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 they will be more eager to utilize bicycles.
Overall
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,
although
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 the lifestyles
along with
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deficiency
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the deficiency
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 of apt
infrastructurs
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
infrastructures
 in cities would demotivate
people
Use synonyms
 about using
bikes
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,
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 can encourage them by spending money.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states the main points you will discuss. This will help readers easily identify the structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve the flow and transition of ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more depth and detail to fully address the task. This can help improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points, particularly in your analysis of sedentary lifestyles and infrastructure challenges.
task achievement
You have provided a clear outline of the reasons cycling is unpopular and the actions governments can take.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the situation in Austria, effectively reinforces your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • infrastructure
  • dedicated bike lanes
  • road safety
  • urban planning
  • cultural perceptions
  • weather conditions
  • topography
  • status symbol
  • awareness campaigns
  • government incentives
  • policy measures
  • transportation alternatives
  • commuting methods
  • environmentally friendly
  • health benefits
  • recreational activity
  • commute
  • urban transportation
  • public awareness
What to do next:
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