Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
People have different opinions when it comes to encouraging young adults to pursue higher-level education. Some believe the pros of going to universities outweigh the cons,
while
others think this
approach only increases the rate of jobless community which I mostly agree with.
On the one hand, going to college creates a more knowledgeable generation. It could provide students with for their future careers, say, expertise courses and internships, which result in them overcoming more challenges in the workplace. Even some classes for communication skills such
as critical thinking, the art of negotiation, and ethical behaviour would be extremely beneficial for them. Furthermore
, graduated individuals have more chances to be employed in international companies with higher incomes which definitely leads to excessive ability to purchase houses, lands, and cars which means paying higher taxes. Also
, wealthy people are more likely to invest or start a new business that presents additional employment opportunities.
On the other hand
, higher education could lead to unreasonable expectations. Many surveys demonstrate that graduated ones are more likely to reject a lot of job openings that come their way because they believe those offers are beneath them and they deserve better options which as a result
the unemployment rate increase. In addition
, having a college degree does not mean success. There are the majority of young adults who pursue their dreams outside of universities that lead to a successful career and life, say, most Hollywood actors without going to an acting school. Besides
there are a lot of occupations that do not require a degree and are crucial for a country, like mechanics shops and other self-employment occupations.
In conclusion, even though there is some argument about attending universities for having a greater country, I think there should be a balance between the number of pupils that apply to schools and the ones who chase after the profession that they are good at.Submitted by mh.emrani on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and presents both viewpoints effectively. However, make sure to elaborate more on your personal opinion in the conclusion to strengthen the response.
task achievement
Some of your ideas could be expressed a bit more clearly to make your argument more comprehensive. Try to avoid vague terms like 'grab their dreams outside of universities,' and specify examples for clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay follows a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion, try to ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the preceding and following ones to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You balanced the viewpoints well by showcasing the benefits of higher education as well as the potential drawbacks, which is essential for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your response and rounding off your discussion.
task achievement
You supported your main points with relevant examples, such as referring to Hollywood actors and international employment opportunities.