IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #decisions #company #employee #process
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There are two kinds of
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 processes in companies. The first one, the
manager
 will make all the decisions
while
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 employees' job will do the execution.
This
 kind of approach has several advantages.
Firstly
, it is a time-saving management strategy because it is only the
manager
 who examines all the facts and makes conclusions.
Secondly
, the decision will follow one direction that
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
inline
Correct your spelling
in line
show examples
 with former policies made by the same person.
For example
, there was a problem within my company regarding the price of our new
product
. Since the
manager
 was involved since the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
product
 development, he understands the
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
 of the
product
.
Therefore
 when there are some evaluations about
product
 pricing, he decides to decrease the price. It was a good judgment from him which
then
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
 a huge market for our
product
. The second kind is when the employees can
also
 give their
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 in a decision-making process.
This
 kind of strategy will give a more comprehensive view
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a matter.
However
, it will take more time
due to
 debates that usually
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 between people with different opinions. In my opinion, it is better to combine both ways. A company could begin their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 process by throwing a brain-storming session.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the stage, everyone could
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 opinions.
However
, it is the
manager
 who has
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
 to give a final call on the matter.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
logical structure
Ensure consistent use of tenses and clear sentence structures for better clarity.
supported main points
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of each decision-making process.
relevant specific examples
The example provided about the manager deciding on product pricing is relevant and effectively supports the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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