IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #literature #country #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, people have preferred to teach their children about literature.
To begin
 with, From my perspective, I have a preference for teaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population about my country's culture.
Additionally
, I do learn
other
Change preposition
about other
show examples
 cultures too. So, in
this
 essay, I will explain why... First of all, every nation has to learn their own traditional lifestyle.
For example
, history can be useful for future projects. We can show our traditions with regard to our food cuisine.
Secondly
, when we join some international community groups, we can introduce our society.
However
, every state joins in these kinds of parts.
Next,
I definitely recommendation to teach children literature of our own country life.
Firstly
, teach children your territory and
then
on the other hand
 to teach your youngsters referring to other civilization life.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 sometimes I hang out with my friends to join in festivals.
Moreover
, we always learn a lot of information about other
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In summary and all in all, everyone must introduce their babies concerning their empire.
However
, every place has an idiomatic nature.
Submitted by ahmetmanafli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide clearer examples from literature to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples can boost your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main ideas are more clearly expressed and connected throughout the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more robust conclusion by summarizing the main points more explicitly and restating your stance clearly.
task achievement
There is a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, suggesting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a structured flow with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing the content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Native literature
  • Cultural identity
  • Heritage
  • Traditions
  • National pride
  • Language skills
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Engagement
  • Relatability
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Cultural awareness
  • Open-mindedness
  • Literary heritage
  • Bias
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Global community
  • Domestic vs. international literature
  • Cultural nuances
  • Sense of belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: