IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organisation .why might this be the case? What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In today's digital era,
self
Use synonyms
-employment has become most popular in many countries.Citizens are likely to do their own job rather than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 for an organisation or company.
However
Linking Words
,there are some merits and demerits for doing
self
Use synonyms
-
work
Use synonyms
.I will elaborate on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of
Use synonyms
self activities
Add a hyphen
self-activities
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Self earnings
Add a hyphen
Self-earnings
show examples
 activities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some benefits for
people
Use synonyms
 for their own
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it will help the individuals to earn more profits from their own
Use synonyms
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Hence
Linking Words
,they
preferably
Replace the word
prefer
show examples
 to do their job with all facilities like the company
as well as
Linking Words
 organisations.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
self
Use synonyms
-
work
Use synonyms
 persons can
work
Use synonyms
 without any pressure from higher authorities.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 humans can manage their time without any stress.Some are enjoying the
work
Use synonyms
 with all
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
 benefits .
As a result
Linking Words
,they can develop their business
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a high levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
high levels
a high level
show examples
.So there are many
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are doing
Use synonyms
self tasks
Add a hyphen
self-tasks
show examples
. There are various disadvantages to be considered for
self
Use synonyms
 activities
work
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,they need to
be arrange
Change the verb form
arrange
show examples
 some finance for starting a
Use synonyms
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.
However
Linking Words
,few
people
Use synonyms
 are facing difficulty
to prepare
Change preposition
in preparing
show examples
 a huge amount of money for developing a
Use synonyms
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,an individual
unable
Add a missing verb
is unable
show examples
 to manage the whole
Use synonyms
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
difficult to allocate or find
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best staff for running a business.
For example
Linking Words
,The ABACS Survey shows that the
people
Use synonyms
 who
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
 with
partnership
Add an article
a partnership
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed
due to
Linking Words
 the improper way of handling the tasks.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 uphill task for
people
Use synonyms
 who are unaware of the basic functions. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
 is a good
choices
Change the noun form
choice
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who are aware of the normal function it can
be easily manage
Change the verb form
be easily managed
show examples
 by individuals who have more
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
 at the initial period.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to integrate a more coherent logical structure throughout your essay to enhance clarity. Consider using clear paragraphing and transitions between your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive idea development. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on main points to fully address the essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure balanced and articulate opening and closing statements, supporting the core discussion more effectively.
Task Achievement
Your essay appropriately outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, which is crucial for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The presence of a conclusion helps to wrap up your thoughts, which is often overlooked.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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