IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

percentage of elecricity production by fuel source in france in 1990 and 2010.

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Introduction
The
presented
Verb problem
apply
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pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 information about sources
for
Change preposition
of
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 electricity
production
Use synonyms
 in France in 1990 and 2010.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 5 different choices in order to produce electricity; oil, coal, natural
gas
Use synonyms
,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
,
nuclear
Correct word choice
and nuclear
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power
Use synonyms
. Upward and
Body paragraph 2
downward trends can be seen over the years for different alternatives.
Body paragraph 3
In general, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 has become the main source of energy for France. In 1990, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
holds
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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17% of all of the
Correct your spelling
energy
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
Body paragraph 4
production
Use synonyms
, which makes it second from the
last
Linking Words
.
While
Linking Words
, in 2020, it
provides
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 67% of
Correct article usage
the enegry
show examples
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
 that France needs. In 20 years, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 5
is started to be used more than nearly four times than it was used in 1990.
Body paragraph 6
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passed, usage of other resources
such
Linking Words
 as oil, natural
gas
Use synonyms
,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 and coal
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased.
Need
Correct article usage
The need
show examples
 for oil and coal has
Body paragraph 7
nearly
shrinked
Correct your spelling
shrank
show examples
 more than half. Natural
gas
Use synonyms
 was the most important and used method to create energy in 1990, it
hold
Wrong verb form
held
show examples
 28% of the energy
Conclusion
production
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2020, only 4% of
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
production
Use synonyms
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 natural
gas
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 lost its part by going from 6% to 2%.

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language
Try to be consistent with verb tenses when describing changes over time. Use the past tense when referring to 1990 and the past perfect where necessary.
structure
Ensure to include a clear introduction and conclusion. A summarized comparison in the conclusion would strengthen your task achievement score.
clarity
Clarify the conclusion drawn from the data by explicitly stating and ensuring all key points are covered, such as the rise of nuclear power and the fall of other sources.
content
It's good to see that you've highlighted the major changes within the data, such as the dramatic rise in nuclear power usage.
support
You have effectively used numerical data to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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