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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparsions where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparsions where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction #summarise #features #comparsions
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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 the proportion of the
population
 living in towns in four nations in Asia (Indonesia,
Malaysia
,
Philippines
, and
Thailand
) between 1970 and 2020, with a forecast for 2030 and 2040.
Initially
,
Malaysia
 and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 were at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar level, but both followed different trajectories towards the end of the
period
.
Although
, there was a slight increase at the beginning in the number of residents of
Thailand
city
Capitalize word
City
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,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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later it remained relatively stable. Indonesia,
on the other hand
, experienced a significant
rise
 throughout the
period
.
Overall
, it can be seen that there was
general
Add an article
a general
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 upward trend in the
population
, albeit to varying degrees. In 1970, the rate of
population
 of
malaysia
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Malaysia
show examples
 and
philippine
Capitalize word
Philippine
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 towns were approximately 30%, the percentage increased modestly for
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
, it hit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at just over 70% in 2020 and is expected to exceed four-fifth by 2040.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
,
however
, fluctuated over the same
period
 and recorded about 40% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in 2020. By 2040, a
further
 10% increase is expected in
this
 country.
Furthermore
,
Thailand
 stood at just under 20% in 1970, it
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by about 10% to just under 30% in the year 1990. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the figures remained the same for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 three decades, It is expected to
rise
 to nearly 50% by 2040, which means that
Thailand
 city will remain the least populated among these four countries.
Finally
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 were at roughly 13% in 1970, it later enjoyed a huge
rise
 over the same
period
. By 2020, it reached 50% and is predicted to
rise
 modestly by about 10% in 2040, which will be the second most populated nation.
Submitted by taliyarifat on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, malaysia, philippines, thailand, period, rise with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "modestly" was used 2 times.
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