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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. M.A

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. M.A
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons #m
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The maps illustrate the urban areas in the city of Norbiton ,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 compare the current layout plans with
now
Correct your spelling
new
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 and future developments.
Overall
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, the town and river surrounding
a
Correct article usage
the
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 bay stayed the same.
However
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, the factory replaced the housing area , in future developments. Meanwhile, the place of residence
also
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 changed, with new buildings
constructed
Add a missing verb
being constructed
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.
Additionally
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, a place
of
Change preposition
for
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 school equipment was expanded, and
a
Change the article
an
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industrial area in the centre
,
Remove the comma
apply
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was developed.
To begin
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 with, there was
Add an article
a
the
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bridge,which built over the river. Starting from the centre of
township
Add an article
the township
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, a new roundabout was constructed. A bridge extended from the road circle across the branch.
Moreover
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, study apparatus how school areas, located east of town,
then
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 the size of equipment get larger than it was before.
Furthermore
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, there is a playground located near the waterway, where the farmland is concentrated.
Although
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, the number of housing areas significantly decreased,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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industrial facilities increased.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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