IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

#species #animals #risk
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In the present world, unfortunately, there are so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 which almost extinct and many other species of
animals
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same risk. There are some causes
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 global warming and
urbanisation
Use synonyms
 but definitely it can be solved.
It is clear that
Linking Words
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 trouble in our world. The biggest reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 extinction is global warming. Unfortunately, global warming is a fact
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present because of air pollution and over human population. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 use petrol for transportation and
manufecturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
. It
cause
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causes
show examples
 pollution of
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 and environment.
As a result
Linking Words
, lots of
animals
Use synonyms
 cannot fınd available
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 for living.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
urbanisation
Use synonyms
 has grown day by day.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not attention
their
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to their
show examples
 behaviour
about
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towards
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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. Citizens usually use plastic material for everything.
However
Linking Words
, plastic
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
gone
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go
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 anywhere. They stay
along
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for
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 thousand
years
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of years
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 in
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 where
animals
Use synonyms
hapitat
Correct your spelling
habitat
. So
animals
Use synonyms
 cannot live healthy. It seems to me that
people
Use synonyms
 can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
 animal extinction. If
people
Use synonyms
, especially
people
Use synonyms
 who live
urban
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in urban
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 areas, change their addictions about transportation and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved.
For instance
Linking Words
,
humankinds
Correct your spelling
humankind
 should use renewable energy sources like wind and solar.
With
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way, air pollution and global warming
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 reduced. They can prefer
e-bike
Fix the agreement mistake
e-bikes
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 rather than
gasolin
Correct your spelling
gasoline
 vehicles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
urbanisation
Use synonyms
 should be controlled by
government
Add an article
the government
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. So
animals
Use synonyms
 can find
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 and they do not extinct.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the extiction
show examples
extiction
Correct your spelling
extinction
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 will continue unless
people
Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
 about global warming,
Use synonyms
urbanisation
Correct word choice
and urbanisation
show examples
 and change their behavior about
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by yito18750 on

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writing
Try to avoid small grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'extiction,' 'manufecturing,' and 'hapitat.' Using accurate vocabulary will make your essay more polished.
task
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Direct references to actual environmental policies or animal species will add strength to your points.
cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Using linking words or phrases will help in improving the logical flow.
structure
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion. This is important to frame your argument effectively.
task
You have addressed both parts of the question - reasons for animal extinction and possible solutions - which ensures completeness in response.
cohesion
Your ideas are organized in a way that aligns with conventional essay structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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