IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
#proportion #categories #families #poverty #australia
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The table gives the information about percentage of different
households
Change the noun form
household
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 groups living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
It is clear that
Linking Words
sola
Correct your spelling
single
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 and single families without
children
Use synonyms
 have the biggest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of living in poverty,
while
Linking Words
 aged couple seems to be the least
porprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
portion
 of
the
Remove the article
apply
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all households. To
began
Wrong verb form
begin
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 with, in 1999, all of
Add an article
the catogories
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catogories
Correct your spelling
categories
 to gather formed
as
Change preposition
apply
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all household
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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, which was around 2 million population and accounted for 11% of poverty in the day. It is obvious that sole
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 have the significantly biggest percentage in those terms is 21%.
Also
Linking Words
, single without
children
Use synonyms
 have a slightly higher proportion of 19%,
while
Linking Words
 there is only a 2% gap between
this
Linking Words
 figure for sole
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, couples with
children
Use synonyms
 come in second place after these
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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factors by 12%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other
caregories
Correct your spelling
categories
 are less poor compared to the ones mentioned. In detail, aged
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
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 have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 figure on family type with only 4%. The couples that have no
children
Use synonyms
 and single
aged
Correct word choice
apply
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people, both have the
less
Correct your spelling
lowest
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 percentage which is below 10%, with 7% and 6% respectively.
Submitted by chunyanh502 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • categories
  • families
  • poverty
  • single-parent
  • childcare
  • income
  • couples
  • dependents
  • older adults
  • pensions
  • unemployed
  • financial resources
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