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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending
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The pie charts illustrate where are people taking
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the tables give information on three types of
dance
Use synonyms
 (
Ballet
Use synonyms
, Tap, and Modern) by two different ages (under 11 and 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old).
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia choose private studios for taking a
dance
Use synonyms
 class,
while
Linking Words
 the least of them choose college-based studios.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most preferred type of class for those under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old is
ballet
Use synonyms
 and for 11-16
years
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 old most preferred is modern
dance
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. Well, almost half of people choose to take lessons in private with a couch (48%). There are
students
Use synonyms
 taking
classes
Use synonyms
 after school in school halls (24%). For the community halls and others, 18% and fewer of them choose to learn
dance
Use synonyms
 in colled-based studios (10%). The proportion of types of
dance
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
 is around 600
students
Use synonyms
 under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old taking
ballet
Use synonyms
classes
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, as opposed to
students
Use synonyms
 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old with the number of
students
Use synonyms
 taking
ballet
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classes
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 around 300 people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more than 500
students
Use synonyms
 in 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 less than under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
 around 300
students
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. There are less of differences in tap dancing, both of them have more than 400
students
Use synonyms
 with the younger having higher than the older groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, ballet, years, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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