The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia

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The pie charts illustrate where are people taking

dance

classes

in Australia,

while

the tables give information on three types of

dance

(

Ballet

, Tap, and Modern) by two different ages (under 11 and 11-16

years

old).

Overall

, the majority of

students

in Australia choose private studios for taking a

dance

class,

while

the least of them choose college-based studios.

Furthermore

, the most preferred type of class for those under 11

years

old is

ballet

and for 11-16

years

old most preferred is modern

dance

. Well, almost half of people choose to take lessons in private with a couch (48%). There are

students

taking

classes

after school in school halls (24%). For the community halls and others, 18% and fewer of them choose to learn

dance

in colled-based studios (10%). The proportion of types of

dance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is around 600

students

under 11

years

old taking

ballet

classes

, as opposed to

students

11-16

years

old with the number of

students

taking

ballet

classes

around 300 people.

Furthermore

, more than 500

students

in 11-16

years

old choose modern

dance

while

less than under 11

years

old choose modern

dance

around 300

students

. There are less of differences in tap dancing, both of them have more than 400

students

with the younger having higher than the older groups.

Submitted by dliyaa on Mon Dec 09 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, ballet, years, students with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

214 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

distribution
attendance
community centers
dance schools
private studios
ballet
hip-hop
contemporary
ballroom
analysis
popularity
accessibility
cost
cultural trends
media influences

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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?