The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending
The pie charts illustrate where are people taking
dance
classes
in Australia, while
the tables give information on three types of dance
(Ballet
, Tap, and Modern) by two different ages (under 11 and 11-16 years
old).
Overall
, the majority of students
in Australia choose private studios for taking a dance
class, while
the least of them choose college-based studios. Furthermore
, the most preferred type of class for those under 11 years
old is ballet
and for 11-16 years
old most preferred is modern dance
.
Well, almost half of people choose to take lessons in private with a couch (48%). There are students
taking classes
after school in school halls (24%). For the community halls and others, 18% and fewer of them choose to learn dance
in colled-based studios (10%).
The proportion of types of dance
,
is around 600 Remove the comma
apply
students
under 11 years
old taking ballet
classes
, as opposed to students
11-16 years
old with the number of students
taking ballet
classes
around 300 people. Furthermore
, more than 500 students
in 11-16 years
old choose modern dance
, while
less than under 11 years
old choose modern dance
around 300 students
. There are less of differences in tap dancing, both of them have more than 400 students
with the younger having higher than the older groups.Submitted by dliyaa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, ballet, years, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼