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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending
The pie charts illustrate where are people taking
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the tables give information on three types of
dance
Use synonyms
 (
Ballet
Use synonyms
, Tap, and Modern) by two different ages (under 11 and 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old).
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia choose private studios for taking a
dance
Use synonyms
 class,
while
Linking Words
 the least of them choose college-based studios.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most preferred type of class for those under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old is
ballet
Use synonyms
 and for 11-16
years
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 old most preferred is modern
dance
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. Well, almost half of people choose to take lessons in private with a couch (48%). There are
students
Use synonyms
 taking
classes
Use synonyms
 after school in school halls (24%). For the community halls and others, 18% and fewer of them choose to learn
dance
Use synonyms
 in colled-based studios (10%). The proportion of types of
dance
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
 is around 600
students
Use synonyms
 under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old taking
ballet
Use synonyms
classes
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, as opposed to
students
Use synonyms
 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old with the number of
students
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 taking
ballet
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classes
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 around 300 people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more than 500
students
Use synonyms
 in 11-16
years
Use synonyms
 old choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 less than under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old choose modern
dance
Use synonyms
 around 300
students
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. There are less of differences in tap dancing, both of them have more than 400
students
Use synonyms
 with the younger having higher than the older groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, ballet, years, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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