In many countries young people are granted certain privileges and responsibilities at the age of sixteen. clearly parents have a responsibility to both care for and prepare their children as they approach this important milestone. to what degree should parents intervene in the lives of their 14-15 year old children?

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It is predicted that in the near future card or virtual wallets on mobile phones will be replaced by cash for shopping.I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

mindset and

Change the capitalization

show examples

will outline my reasons in the essay. Paying by card and virtual phones may bring us so many significant advantages in our daily lives.It is safe and compared with money and it is so convenient,that individuals do not have to bring their money everywhere.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of the biggest benefits of

that is

Linking Words

safety,these days we have to be aware of theft and by not using and keeping cash we can reduce its incidents.

However

Linking Words

, on the other side being dependent on these cards may have some serious and negative impacts on people's lives and

also

Linking Words

their minds.One of the biggest problems is credit cards will enable people to pay more than they have and their property

as a result

Linking Words

they are involved with paying a debt which is not logical.Another example of

this

Linking Words

unsatisfactory is the countries which are not as developed as others .So in the future, they will be faced with crucial problems

such

Linking Words

as hacking bank accounts. In conclusion, with the advancement of technology, we could not prevent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these changes.With these changes not only our lives

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

straightforward but

also

Linking Words

we could get many

granted

Replace the word

grants

show examples

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

that.

However

Linking Words

, everything has two sides and it has

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

drawbacks as well.

heliaMon Dec 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a general response to the given topic, but it lacks depth in developing arguments. Consider expanding on key arguments with more details and examples.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your position. However, the development of ideas in the body paragraph needs to be more organized and focused. Try using clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Enhance your task response by incorporating more specific examples and scenarios that can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose effectively by clearly stating your position and summarizing your points.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives, outlining benefits of cashless transactions and its potential drawbacks.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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Your opinion

Some people think that homeschooling should be banned because it has several drawbacks. Others think that it has a number of benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer and the poor are even getting poorer. Some people think that governments are responsible for this issue, and others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.