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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below show the average perchentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average perchentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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These pie charts provide information about the average ratio of three types of
nutrients
Use synonyms
 that may cause unhealthy effects if consumed in excess in 4 different meals.
In
Correct word choice
Overall
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overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 considerable amount can be noticed in sodium in dinner and
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 in snacks which are almost
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the same percentage. As we can see by overeating breakfast the proportion of these three
nutrients
Use synonyms
 is the lowest compared to the others.The unhealthiest food with
exceed consuming
Replace the word
excessive consumption
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 is dinner.It has 43% of sodium and 37% of fat which contain the highest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of these two
nutrients
Use synonyms
.On the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 snacks
is
Change the verb form
are
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concerned as
Verb problem
considered
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another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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unhealthy food because of the ratio of
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
42%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the highest.The ratio of lunch in of the three
nutrients
Use synonyms
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 the same with the differences of 10% and it has the lowest percentage of
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 on it.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nutrients with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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