The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

#show #percentage #meals #three #nutrients

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The pie chart

compare

Change the verb form

compares

show examples

the average proportion of three

sort

Change to a plural noun

sorts

show examples

of nutrients in ordinary

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

which can be harmful if consumed too much in the USA.

Overall

Linking Words

, dinner accounts for the largest share of

sodium

Use synonyms

and saturated fat,

while

Linking Words

snacks contribute the most added sugar. Breakfast consistently shows the smallest proportions across all three nutrients.

Sodium

Use synonyms

and Saturated fat witnessed the greatest proportion of eating breakfast which was 43% and 37% respectively,

while

Linking Words

Added

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

the figure for

this

Linking Words

category was just 23%. Focusing on Added

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

saw

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

presentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

at 42% with snacks of the total intake, followed by

lanch

Correct your spelling

lunch

show examples

19%. Meanwhile the rate of consuming snacks

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

category in

Sodium

Use synonyms

and Saturated fat was slightly lower at 14% and 21% compared to Added

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

. In terms of Lunch, the percentage of

Sodium

Use synonyms

was relatively similar

with

Change preposition

show examples

Saturated fat at 29% for

Sodium

Use synonyms

and 26% for Saturated fat.

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

this

Linking Words

rate was relatively the same with dinner at 14% for

Sodium

Use synonyms

, 16% for Saturated fat and

lastly

Linking Words

16% for Added sugar.

Submitted by botir2507 on Tue Dec 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

174 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
some people say technology have made people social while other disagree discuiss both views and give your opinion'
In this contemporary epoch, a large proportion of individuals believe that technical gadgets have made humans more extrovert while critics say that it has drifted them away from society. In my opinion, technology has provided a better platform for youngsters to interact with a relentless number of figures across the globe. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
8
band
Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?
In the ancient days, people used to live in the Gurukulls in India and wear traditional uniforms, where they learned discipline and equality in their classrooms. While many institutions are very strict about their uniform code, others are lenient and have no dress symbol. However, regimentals bring equality and reduce bullying, but we cannot deny without uniforms some pupils feel better and motivated. Both sides of this essay will be discussed carefully before constructing an inference.
7.5
band
In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. 7.5/9.0
In many countries, governments prioritize economic growth rather than all other concerns. The advantages of doing so are an increase in people’s average income and the maturity of society, while the main disadvantages are environmental problems such as global warming, and pollution.
4.5
band
Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, In the world bussines is growth verius type. generally many people buy some things on the internet. In this bussines is growth day to day. It has advantages and disadvantages. I will expalin both of view point.
5.5
band
you are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter -Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience -Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience -Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do
I am writing a letter to inform you that I will be spending three months at your organisation for working experience.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

some people say technology have made people social while other disagree discuiss both views and give your opinion'

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. 7.5/9.0

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.