Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

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In
this
modern
day
, it is increasingly common for
people
to have low or no connection with their
neighbours
because of modern lifestyles, and the influence of technology.
Moreover
, the habits of some
neighbours
make the society of
neighbours
uncomfortable.
This
essay will consider the cause of
this
issue and propose effective solutions to address it.
To begin
with, today several individuals spend time focusing on self-development even children or adults
for example
children have to be concerned with academics and adults
also
focus on their job responsibilities so it makes some
people
lose the energy to socialize ;
in particular
, in urban
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
people
have to
facing
Change the verb
face
show examples
with traffic issue every
day
in
golden
Add an article
a golden
the golden
show examples
hour it make
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
lose their energy.
Furthermore
, technology has influenced individuals' lives in the present
due to
people
having social-media connections which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
interactions face-to-face Many
people
rely on massage apps to stay connected.
On the other hand
, some
people
have toxic relationships with
neighbours
;
for example
, some
neighbours
always have a gossip group with personal stories of someone and it creates a toxic environment. To tackle
this
problem;
firstly
, communities should Organize activities for various festivals to encourage
people
in the communities
such
as Halloween, Christmas or easter
day
to participate in activities and break the ice when they become familiar with each other by participating in activities together.
Secondly
, creating shared spaces ,
for instance
, parks or playgrounds can help
people
meet nature
however
, it may not help filter out toxic
people
because it is a problem that we have to deal with our own feelings about what these
people
will gossip about even if it is fake news.
On the other hand
, it helps to practice patience with difficult things like being gossiped about themselves.
To sum up
, the growing distance between
neighbours
is caused by lifestyles changing with modern-
day
and the habitat of
neighbours
that is
out of control.
Nevertheless
having a space or activity where you can bond with your
neighbours
is a good thing because it will make you have more friends or you can benefit from your
neighbours
on a difficult
day
because your
neighbours
can help you the fastest if there is an accident in your house.
Submitted by np.napatping on

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task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples and expand on your ideas. For instance, explain how participating in community events can specifically improve relationships with neighbors. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your ideas. While you have a logical flow, transitioning more smoothly between points could improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to vary sentence structures to maintain reader interest and enhance the overall fluidity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
task achievement
You identified key reasons why people might not know their neighbors and proposed relevant solutions, indicating a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
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